Life Lessons
by QueenBea
Summary: Buffy and gang deal with finding and losing loved ones
1. Default Chapter

The characters from BtVS and Angel are not mine. They belong to joss and a lot of other people. If I did own them, Riley would have been killed off months ago.   
  
  
Buffy, Dawn and Willow are in Joyce's bedroom, when there is a slight knock on the door. Riley sticks his head in the room, "Hey Buffy, can I talk to you for a second?"  
  
"Sure" she follows him out into the hallway. "What's up?"  
  
"I was thinking, this weekend will mark our first year anniversary. I want us to go out to the movies and have some dinner. I think you need a normal night out. Take your mind off of your mother and slaying, and just have fun for a night. What do you say?"  
  
"Riley. Do you hear what you're saying? I'll just say, 'Sorry about the problem with your brain and all, mom, but I'm going to the movies' or 'Okay demons, have your fill of all the humans you can possibly eat in one night, I'm going to a fancy dinner myself!' Wow Riley. A night without any problems. Why didn't I think of that myself?"  
  
"What's your problem? I just want you to get away for one night! Is that so wrong?"  
  
"Look, I did not ask to be responsibility girl, but I am. I can't change that. Sometimes it's a big fucking inconvenience, but there are people out there that don't believe in things that go bump in the night. And I risk my life every night to keep people completely ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, they say. I wouldn't know, I don't have that luxury. It's something I have to deal with. It's the way that it has always been. Don't try to tell me that you don't know what my life is like. But I can handle it. What I cannot handle is for the one person who is supposed to be supporting me, asking me to forget for even one night! I died in one night, a lot of other people have died in one night and a lot more will follow them."  
  
"Buffy, I'm just trying to help you!"  
  
"Yeah! Like you tried to help me the other night? You break down my door with a bunch of your little commando buddies. Spike was the one that helped me. You haven't even been around the last couple of days. Willow tells me that you hardly ever show up for patrol. So where have you been?"  
  
"Willow told you I haven't been around? Isn't that something that you should have picked up yourself? Shouldn't my *girlfriend* have noticed first? You are one of the most self centered people I have ever met!"  
  
"Oh yeah! Sorry the whole brain tumor thing has kept me busy! Didn't mean to be so selfish with my time and energy. I'll just let Dawn take care of my mom so we can go out and do 'normal' things!"  
  
"Yeah! Maybe you should. You know Buffy, I think you like being abnormal. I think that's one reason you were so obsessed with Angel, he was just fucked up enough for you to like!"  
  
"Don't bring Angel into this!"  
  
"I don't have to bring him into anything. He's already here. Everybody talks about him. If something happens he comes running, like we can't take care of the problem ourselves!" He calms down. "Just answer me one question, Buffy. Do you love me?"  
  
Buffy pauses. "Yes. I do love you."  
  
"Do you love Angel?"  
  
Longer pause. "Yes-but it's a different kind of love."  
  
"Okay, are you *in* love with me?"  
  
This time Buffy doesn't answer. "Guess I have my answer. Riley turns to leave, you know something Buffy, you've changed, and I can't say that it's for the best. I don't know what's happened to you, or if I was even part of the problem, but you're not the same girl that I met and fell in love with. You're something completely different." Riley leaves.  
  
  
Buffy returns to her mother's room a little shaken. Uh, mom. I have to go out of town for a day or two. Willow, Dawn, will you take care of mom and the house while I'm gone? I'll leave you directions and the pill time chart and-"  
  
"Hey, Buffy. Chill out. I watch you do this all the time. I know what to do and when to do it. We'll be fine."  
  
"You know I love you, Dawn, right?  
  
"I know Buffy. I love you too." The sisters hug.  
  
"May I ask where you are going?" Willow pipes in.  
  
"I'm going to LA. To see Angel."  
******************************************************************************   
  
Buffy arrives at the hotel, the new headquarters of Angel Investigations. She walks cautiously through the front door. "Hello?"  
  
"Buffy?" Cordelia comes around from the front desk and studies Buffy, not a happy look on her face. "So, to what does LA owe the privilege of a visit from her Buffyness? I hope you know Angels got his hands full right now. So just go ahead and tell me who died or is dying that Buffy can't deal with on her own?"  
  
At this, Buffy loses all of her composure. She starts crying. A lot. Cordelia rushes over to her and tries to comfort her. "Hey. Hey. Buffy, what's wrong? Come on, talk to me."  
  
"My mom. She is really sick. She's had brain surgery, but he doctors aren't sure if they're going to find out what's wrong with her, or if she's even going to get better. I even did a spell so I could see if there was something magically wrong with her, and that came out negative, too. I didn't know where to go. I'm so scared, Cordy. There's nothing I can do for her!"  
  
"Hey, it's going to be alright. Okay, I know, we'll figure something out. You'll get through this."  
  
"I don't think so. I can't do anything anymore. I'm so worried about my mom and Dawn and patrolling. Willow and Xander have been doing it themselves lately. A fledgling stabbed me with my own stake! I can't focus on anything anymore. Sometimes I just wish everything would stop. I wish that I had no memory of demons. I wish that nothing were wrong at all. But it doesn't work that way, does it? I just don't know what to do!"  
  
"You have people that love you, Buffy. And those people are not unaccustomed to demons and icky things. They can help lighten your load if you let them. You just have to let go and let them take some responsibility. And what about you're little commando? Doesn't he help with patrolling? Isn't that sort of what he does?"  
  
'"Riley? That's a joke. He leaves Willow and Xander high a dry all the time. We finally broke up tonight. Just too many things were going wrong."  
  
"What was the straw you proverbial camel?"  
  
"I sort of told him that I love Angel, and where as I was also in love with Riley, I wasn't *in* love with him."  
  
"Yeah. That's pretty much break up material. Defiantly sounds like a breakup to me. Do you miss him?"  
  
"I don't know. I think I miss being with someone. You know what I mean?"  
  
"Yeah, I've had a couple of moments like that myself. Listen, Angel should be home soon, why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep?"  
  
"That sounds wonderful." Buffy heads up the stairs. "Cordelia? Thanks. Thanks a lot." She turns to go upstairs.  
  
Later on, Angel enters the hotel. "Cordelia, have you heard from Gunn? We split up, he said that he would call if he saw Dru or Darla. Has he called?"  
  
"Call down, you're going to give yourself a heart attack." She pauses, "Okay, calm down, you're making me nervous. Yeah, that makes more sense. Listen, I need to tell you that-"  
  
"I can't believe I let her get turned. She was finally okay with it. I was going to stick by her side till the end. We were going to go through it together. I failed her. I was with her. I could have done something, but I failed."  
  
"Angel! Will you stop being so hard on yourself? It's not your fault. You couldn't stop it from happening! I mean, it's not like I got a v- it's not like you could have known."  
  
Angel gives her a strange look, "Cordelia. Did you see what was going to happen?" His voice is deadly calm.   
  
"Yes, no! It's not what you think. It wasn't a regular vision. If you hadn't come back here and told me about what happened, then I would have thought that I had had a daydream. There was no pain or anything, Angel. I didn't know until it was too late. I swear."  
  
"You knew!" In a rage, Angel knocked a couch over; the room shook with the violence of it.  
  
"Jesus, Angel! Calm down. I *didn't* know! I had no idea. It wasn't like a normal vision. I'm sorry. But don't you *dare* start throwing things. You're acting like you lost your soul mate. Wait. Angel. You aren't in love with her are you?"  
  
"No. I'm not in love with her. But I am trying to help people. That's the reason I came here, that's why you have horrible headaches. People come to me for help. Help with anything. Darla came to me. She wanted my help. I failed her. I couldn't help her."  
  
"Don't you think that she knew how you felt about her. She knew what she had done to you, and there you were, helping her. You were going to stick by her side. Don't you think she realized how much you cared for her?"  
  
"But I let her die. I could have done something."  
  
"Angel. You couldn't have done anything. She was going to die anyway. She had syphilis! She wasn't going to drift peacefully off to sleep. You have to realize that you couldn't help her and you can't change what happened. What are you going to do when you find her? You know that she has lost her soul. She's a demon again. Are you going to try to protect her from herself? Are you going to protect yourself from her?"   
  
"I don't know. I just want to go to sleep. I need to think about what I'm going to do."  
  
"Great, even in your sleep you brood. Very healthy, Angel."  
  
"Goodnight Cordelia" Angel turned to walk up the stairs, that's when Cordelia remembered his houseguest.  
  
"Angel! I forgot to tell you! Someone came here to see you."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Buffy..."   
  
"What is she doing here?"  
  
"She needed someone to talk to. Her mom is really sick. Buffy was hysterical when she got here. I only got a little of the story out of her."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"I sent her up to bed. I figure you two can talk about it tomorrow. By the way, she and Riley broke up. She told him she wasn't in love with him, and that she still loved you. Just thought you should know." A small smile crossed his face as he went up the stairs to look for her.   
  
Angel was going to every bedroom, looking in to find Buffy. Finally he came to his own bedroom, where he saw her laying on his bed, with her back to him. He took the time to look at her. Even after everything they went through, she still was the most beautiful thing to him. Angel doubted if anything could change that.  
  
"You can come in. It's your room anyway." Buffy spoke to him with her back still turned. "I knew you were there. I can still sense you. Don't you find it odd, that I can still sense you?"  
  
"No. Not at all. How did you know that this was my room?"  
  
"All the colors are dark and brooding. Plus, you have a thousand sketches of Darla." At this, Buffy's voice broke and she started crying again. Angel rushed to the bed, wrapped her up in his arm and started to speak to her in a calming voice.  
  
"Are you in love with her Angel?"  
  
"No. I'm obsessed with her.   
  
"Great! Even better."  
  
"Darla was human. I staked my sire, then she was returned as a human."  
  
"Was human?"  
  
"She was turned. Dru turned her. Listen. I'm really tired. Do you mind if we finish this in the morning?"  
  
"No problem. Good night Angel."  
  
"Good night Buffy."  
  
The next morning, Buffy wakes up early to go find Angel. She comes across one of the bedrooms and sees Angel still sleeping. He had the sweetest look on his face. She gave him a light kiss on the forehead before she left. Down stairs she looked in the refrigerator for something to eat. Not surprisingly, all he had was blood. She gave the freezer a look and came across a pint of chocolate chip fudge mint ice cream. It was her favorite. She took the pint out of the freezer, found a spoon, and decided to have her breakfast in bed. Meanwhile, down the hall, Angel was finally waking up. He smiled. He had been having the sweetest dreams about him and Buffy. Not dreams really, but memories. He padded quietly down the hall till he came to his bedroom. If he had had a breath, it would have caught in his throat. Buffy was sitting in his bed, eating ice cream. It looked so much like their forgotten day that he stood in the doorway shocked.  
  
"Oh! Good morning. Did you sleep okay? I found this in the fridge, I hope Cordelia doesn't mind that I'm eating all of her ice cream. I'll buy some more before I leave. Come in, sit down. Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Don't worry. It's not Cordelia's...it's mine. And I slept fine." Angel still stood, shocked, in the doorway.  
  
"But I didn't think that vampires could taste food."  
  
"They can't. I just pretend that I know what it tastes like. It's my comfort food."  
  
"Well, this is my favorite kind! Who'd of thought that we would like the same kind of ice cream? Here, sit down."  
  
As Angel sat down on the bed, Buffy lifted the spoon to his mouth. Angel took a bite. It was like they had traveled through time, to come back to that one perfect day. Angel was so taken with the memory, that in one swift move, he relieved Buffy of the ice cream, and brought her into his arms. He was in full possession of her lips. It was an urgent kiss. Buffy put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. The kiss deepened. Buffy was pulling him down on top of her when Angel realized what he was happening. "I'm sorry Buffy. I shouldn't have done that."  
  
"I'm glad you did. I miss you Angel."  
  
"I miss you too, but you know that this is the way that it had to be. I can't lose myself in you again. I want you too badly. We can't do this. Not know and not ever."  
  
"I'm sorry Angel. But this is hard for me too. I've never felt the way towards anyone as I do with you."  
  
"I feel the same way about you, Buffy. But I'm too weak, where you are concerned, to be around you and not love you the way that I want too."  
  
"There will be a way, Angel. Someday we are going to be able to be with each other. I want you to know that if we can ever find a spell for the whole curse thing, you won't be able to keep me away. My ears will be totally deaf to your whole 'I want you to have a normal life, with a normal man' thing. I'm not normal and I don't want a normal life. I want you. And some day I'll be able to have that. Just you. No curse will be able to get in the way. I love you Angel."  
  
"I love you too. But you deserve to be with someone right now."  
  
"I was with someone. Hello? You hated him, remember?"  
  
"I didn't hate him. I just really didn't like him."  
  
Buffy gives him the raised brow look.  
  
"Okay, I might have hated him a little."  
  
"Angel...can I ask you a serious question?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Do you think I have changed? And not necessarily for the best."  
  
"Buffy...I...you...well, uh...Maybe..."  
  
"Maybe!? You really think I have, don't you?"  
  
"It's not what you think. You have changed. But people do it all the time!"  
  
"But you said that it was a bad change."  
  
"Buffy. A lot of things have happened to you and your friends and family. Those changes are not going to make you into a very shiny happy person."  
  
"Have you been listening to REM again? No. Never mind. How have I changed exactly?"  
  
"Well. The way you talk to people. You can be very condescending, and I don't think that you do it on purpose. It's just he way it comes out. And you're not really a forgiving person. You think that if someone has made a mistake, that they should pay for it for the rest of their lives. You seem to forget that you are not perfect, either, and have made a few mistakes of your own."  
  
"Well, thanks Angel. Really I mean it. It's good to know how someone truly feels about you!"  
  
"You asked me to tell you how you've changed."  
  
"Well you really didn't have to hold anything back!"  
  
Angel is confused, "I didn't hold anything back. Except for maybe the fact that you fall in bed with guys pretty quickly to be mourning the loss of your 'greatest love'."   
  
Buffy just stares at him.   
  
"Sorry. I've just been having issues with that one for a while. Are you okay?"  
  
"Angel. Do you love me?"  
  
"Yes. Even though we haven't been the best to each other, I love you with all of my heart. I always will. And you're right. Someday I am going to be able to love you without turning evil. And when that time comes, I don't care whom you are with. I don't care if you have been married for fifteen years and have two children. I will take you with me, against your will or not."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
"Alright. I need to get back. I don't like to leave my mom alone for too long."  
  
"I understand. Do you want me to get Wesley to drive you back?"  
  
"Yes please. Listen, I'm not saying that I like for you to say horrible things about me, but thank you. I'll try to be better."  
  
"I know you will. I love you Buffy."  
  
"I love you Angel."  
  
"Hey Wesley? You mind giving Buffy a ride back to Sunnydale?"  
  
"Of course not. As long as I don't have to actually talk to any of those people."  
  
"Thanks Wesley. That's very big of you."  
  
"Alright. So, will I see you again anytime soon?"  
  
"I think so. There's bound to be doom and gloom in Sunnydale sometime."  
  
"Comforting thought. I'll see you."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Buffy and Wesley leave together. "Wesley, I didn't know that you have a motorcycle."  
  
"Yes. Being a rouge demon hunter, I find its speed and maneuverability are extremely useful."  
  
"I see. Maybe Giles should get one too?"  
  
They speed off. They are driving towards the interstate, when a car runs a redlight and drives straight into the motorcycle. Three more cars are indirectly involved in the accident. Buffy and Wesley are lying still on the ground. Ambulances arrive shortly, and a total of five people are taken to the emergency room.   
  
"Angel Investigation, we help the helpless." Cordelia answers the phone. Yes, this is his place of business. Buffy is a friend also. What! Where are they?! We'll be right there! Yes. I'll call her family."  
  
"Cordelia! What happened?"  
  
"Buffy and Wesley were in a really bad accident. We have to get to the hospital right now. I'll call Giles and her mom on the way."  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
end  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Life Lessons

The characters of BtVS and Angel still do not belong to me. Some may suffer mild to severe injuries, but it's best that way...Don't sue.  
  
  
PART TWO of LESSONS LEARNED  
  
Cordelia sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room, watching Angel pace back and forth. Through the doorway a frenzied group of people came rushing into the lobby. Giles, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Tara, Anya, Spike and Joyce rushed over to Angel and Cordelia. "Where's my baby?", a frantic Joyce asked.  
  
"We don't know. They went into the ER and the doctors haven't come out yet."  
  
Just then, one of the doctors came over to them, "Mrs. Summers, I presume?"  
  
"Yes?" Joyce is on the verge of a breakdown.  
  
"May I speak to you for a moment?" Once they were out of earshot from the others, the doctor continued. "I really don't know how to tell you this. Your daughter has critical injuries. I really can't say, for certain, if she is going to pull out of this. She is unconscious right now, and I don't know when, or if, she is going to wake up."  
  
At this, Joyce's whole body started to drop, Angel who had been watching the discussion between the two, rushed over a caught Joyce before she fell. Joyce's whole body began to shake with the tears that she was shedding. The rest of the group came over to help console the woman.  
  
"Angel" Willow said, "What happened? Is Buffy...?"  
  
Angel, who had heard the entire story said, "No, she isn't. But she's in a coma. They don't think she is going to make it."  
  
"What about Wesley?" asked Giles  
  
"They didn't say."  
  
Giles went to the doctor. "Excuse me, doctor. The gentleman that was with her... Do you have any news on him?"  
  
"Are you family?"  
  
"Yes. Yes I am."  
  
The doctor led Giles down the hall "I'm sorry, but Mr. Price did not make it. His injuries were two severe. It was too late by the time he arrived."  
  
Giles slowly turned around to the others. His face masked in pain. He looked from Angel to Cordelia and back. They were Wesley's family. "Angel, Cordelia...I don't know how to tell you this. I am so sorry, but Wesley didn't make it." At this, Cordelia started to cry, and turned into Angel for comfort. Angel felt his world slowly slipping away. When he had first heard that Buffy and Wesley were in an accident, he thought it would be bad, but not this bad. He never imagined that he would lose one of his friends today. Angel hadn't cried in a long time. But he cried today. With Cordelia wrapped in his arm, he cried into her hair. He cried for the loss of Wesley and the fact that he could quite possibly lose Buffy. It was a long time before either he or Cordelia could compose themselves.   
  
"Cordy?" Xander went to her. "Cordy I am so sorry. I know how close you are to Wesley. If you need anything, please. Let me know."  
  
Cordelia turned to face the man that had broken her heart a year ago. She saw in his eyes that he was really concerned for her. It touched her deeply. She took his hand in hers, a silent thanks for the kindness he showed her. "Buffy is going to be okay, Xander."  
  
"Yeah. She is. She's the slayer. She has to be all right. She has to..." Cordelia and Xander stayed like that for a few more minutes, taking comfort in each other.  
  
Three days past and there was no change in Buffy. The council had contacted Giles and asked that Wesley's body be returned to England. Giles refused. Wesley's body was finally laid to rest in a cemetery not far from Angel's hotel. Faith was given a day of leave, of course, flanked by four VERY big guards, and attended the service.  
  
"How's B doing?", she asked Angel after the service.  
  
"Not too good. She isn't coming out of it. The doctors don't know if she ever will. It it's not looking very good."  
  
"Well, I think B will be just fine. She's stronger than I am, and I bet she gave it to me a lot worse than she got. In fact, I just may go pay her a visit."  
  
"You think the guards are going to let you do that?"  
  
"Does it matter. I'll just lose the goons, go see her, and go back before they even know I was missing."  
  
"Faith, if you can break out pretty much anytime you want to, why are you still there?" Angel asked her.  
  
"It's my version of redemption. You have Angel Investigations, I have prison."  
  
"You're a good girl, Faith. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."  
  
"You too, Angel. Except for the whole girl thing. I'm gonna head out. She you around!" With that, Faith pummels all four guards and rushes across the cemetery, in the direction of the hospital.  
  
After everyone payed their final respects to Wesley, they returned to the hospital. As soon as they enter, Buffy's doctor notices Joyce and comes to her. "Mrs. Summers. Your daughter is awake, but I'm afraid there are some complications."  
  
"What kind of complications?"  
  
"Your daughter is suffering from memory loss. I already told her what her name is, and that she had a number of friends and family that were waiting for her outside. Would you like to see her now?"  
  
"Yes, of course." Joyce enters Buffy's room, where Buffy is laying on the bed, looking out the window. At the sound, she turns to see her mother.   
  
"Buffy? Baby? It's your mother."  
  
"Mom?"   
  
"Yes, honey. We were all so worried about you. Everybody is here. Do you want to see them, or do you want to rest?"  
  
"I'd like to see them. The doctor says that it may help with my memory."  
  
"Okay, I'll send in Dawn or Willow."  
  
Both girls enter the room after Joyce had left. They came to Buffy on each side of the bed. "Buffy, are you all right? How do you feel?" Willow asked.  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
"No, I'm Willow, this is Dawn. Your sister."  
  
"I didn't think that I had a sister. Dawn. I'll remember that."  
  
"Buffy?" A voice came from the door to her room.  
  
"Angel! Angel? How do I know you?"  
  
"We are very close" Angel said uncomfortably "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Awful. I feel like a just got ran over by a couple of cars."  
  
"You did." Dawn put in.  
  
"Ah, Dawn, maybe we should wait outside." Willow escorted Dawn out of the room.  
  
"Angel. This is really frightening. I don't remember anything. I don't want to remember anything. My brain hurts too much as it is. I don't want any new information."  
  
"We'll take it easy on you at first. You'll start remembering things. You remembered me, didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah. Oh, this girl came by to see me. I don't remember her name, but I guess she was a friend. She brought me this." Buffy held up a flower. No doubt Faith had grabbed one before she left the cemetery. "She told me that I was going to be okay, that if I 'wussed' out she'd be really pissed at me. There was something about her, though. I really liked her."  
  
Angel smiled. He had to remember to tell Faith about this. She would get a kick out of being Buffy's friend again.   
  
"Buffy?" She looked up to see a striking couple in the doorway. She knew immediately that they were together. They looked perfect together.   
  
"Buffy, this is Xander and Cordelia."  
  
"Hey Buffy. You feeling okay? You gave us all a big scare." This from Xander.  
  
"Buffy. I'm really sorry that this happened. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am!" And once again Cordelia began to cry.  
  
"Alright, everyone. I need to talk to Buffy alone. There you go. Come along." The British voice belonged to an older man, but not too old. She got a familiar feeling with this man. She knew him very well.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"No Buffy, I'm not your father. Not in the biological sense anyway. I'm Giles. I'm your watcher. Do you know what a watcher is?  
  
"Not exactly. Is this something that I'm going to end up felling stupid about?"  
  
"Probably, yes. I just wanted to tell you. This may be for the best. Not that it won't come back to you, just don't make it a point to remember things from your past. Let it come back naturally. In the meantime, the doctors say that you will be able to go home tonight. It seems you are healing unusually fast. Imagine that. Anyway, wonderful news isn't it? Remember what I have said, and rest assured that I have your best interests at heart. I'll let you get some rest, now. Feel better, Buffy."  
  
"Thanks, Giles..."  
  
That night, Buffy is released from the hospital and is taken back to Sunnydale. Everyone comes to her house with her, including Angel and Cordelia. "I'm going to go up stairs and take a shower", Buffy said, and walked to the stairs.  
  
Still down in the living room, the others began to talk about what needs to be done. "Spike and I will do the patrolling for the time being" Angel began "we'll take groups with us as well."  
  
"Can I patrol, too?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Actually Dawn, I was hoping that you would watch Buffy. I know she can't really remember anything right now but I don't want her running off anywhere. I need you to pacify her for the time being, until we can see if she remembers how to fight."  
  
"Actually, Angel. I'm not quite sure that is a good idea." Giles spoke up, and all eyes looked on him questioningly.  
  
"And remind me why we wouldn't want the slayer to slay?" Xander asked.  
  
"I was a fool to think that I could keep this from you all. I do not condone my actions, but I believe that it is best for Buffy. The council contacted me after the accident. They asked for Wesley's body."  
  
"Yeah, this is a repeat of all the things that you have already told us" Cordy said getting frustrated.  
  
"Yes, well, they also asked for the body of the slayer. After Buffy died, they have no way of telling if she is alive or not. When I refused both bodies, they sent other watchers to the funeral. They know that only Wesley died. The council was not at all happy when Buffy past her 18th birthday 'test'.   
  
"They will try and come after her again and again until Buffy is dead. Only one other slayer had ever made it past the birthday test. They waited until the poor girl would go into a battle, and they would send several demons to attack her at once. She didn't last but a week or two. I doubt Buffy would do that much better.   
  
"The council told me that as soon as Buffy began to fight again, they would give her the same treatment. I would rather lose the slayer than lose Buffy. Forgive me if you think that it is selfish, but I stand firmly on this principle."  
  
"But what if Buffy's memory returns on it's own?" Willow asked.  
  
"I would beg her to leave Sunnydale. For that matter the country. She could go anywhere, besides England of course. She wouldn't be able to tell any of you were she was going or contact you after you she left. She would be alive, though dead to us. I think it is a small price to pay for her to live out her life."  
  
"Giles, there is something that I have always wondered. Why does the council kill the slayers? Wouldn't they be glad to have a slayer mature? Maybe it would be like with vampires, and the slayers would just get stronger every year."  
  
"Cordelia, I have asked myself that question many times. In fact, the only person who knows about that is the head of the council. Every time the leader dies, the knowledge of why the slayer must die is passed down to the next leader. To be perfectly honest. I think they find it best if the slayers are unattached, or too young to question their orders."  
  
Xander spoke up, "Well, considering Buffy is both very well attached and questions everyone, you'd think they would give up and let her be."   
  
"Well, we've got other problems besides the slayer", Spike said, "Word is that Soldier Boy got turned. He's been visitin' an old friend of mine. Says he let her drink from him every night. Then he stops by the other night and says he doesn't want to live the was he's been living."  
  
"Well, Buffy did breakup with him for a vampire" Cordelia said, "maybe he thought he could get her back this way. Sort of sweet if you think about it. I was wrong...kind of gross really."  
  
Spike perked up when he heard that Buffy broke it off with captain commando. "So, the Slayer got tired of her little boy toy. Well, this is good news! And now that he's turned, I can kick the wankers ass once and for all. Been wantin' to do it for a while, now. As soon as night falls, I say we all go after the little army boy. I get first dibs, though."  
  
"Spike. We just can't go kill him. Maybe he's good. Even if Buffy doesn't love Riley, she still cares for him, she'd be heart broken if you killed him."  
  
"Red, Buffy doesn't know Riley from your watch. She couldn't possible care if we dusted a ~vampire~ or not. What do you think, Peaches?"  
  
"Well, I'm a little bias, but he ~is~ a vampire. What if he killed someone? You can't think that he is still the same person. He's a demon now. I don't think that we should actively seek him out, but if he comes around any of us, I think we should handle the situation like we would any other."  
  
"I believe that Angel is right. We will patrol as usual, and keep all of this from Buffy. I don't want anything to trigger her memory. I was afraid that seeing Angel would cause something to happen, but that was avoided, so let's do all that we can to make sure that nothing tips her off. Willow, I believe that Buffy has a number of weapons in her room. If you would remove those I would be most appreciative. Also, let's refrain from making any demon references that would, like wise, trigger a memory. This will be a difficult task, but if we are mindful of what we say-"  
  
"-And cover each other's asses!"  
  
"Thank you for putting that so well Xander. But yes, if we work together, Buffy will never have to know. Is everyone in agreement?"  
  
Everybody in the room knew the stakes were high, and willing to do everything to keep Buffy out of the loop. The group heard a noise on the stairs as Buffy came towards the living room. "Don't mean to interrupt the little pow-wow going on here, I was just getting something to drink."  
  
"Try not to fall in, S-Buffy" Spike said in a lazy voice.  
  
"Shut up Spike- wait! I know Spike! See, don't even have to try to remember, Giles, it's all coming to me. Well not all, just a little bit...okay, Spike's name and that's it. But the rest will come, eventually I'm sure." With that, Buffy walks into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh yes, one more thing" Giles said addressing the group, "try to refrain from those charming nicknames you all have. No Slayer, no Dead Boy or anything along those lines."  
  
"It isn't going to be easy keeping Buff in the dark, so exactly how long are we supposed to keep this little secret?" Xander asked  
  
"I suppose we take it one day at a time. I have no doubt that her memory will return, however, I have no wish to think about what must be done when that happens."  
  
"Well what about research? Not that I wouldn't mind NOT researching, but isn't that what you guys do? Like, all the time?"  
  
"Cordelia, we research, you do your nails."  
  
"Xander? Research? That's a laugh! I'll have you no that my research skills are excellent. Even Wes-" Cordelia's face fell, her eyes began to tear up again, and Xander moved to her side, putting an arm around her shaking shoulders. "I'm sorry, Cordy." And for lack of anything else to say, "I bet you are great at research."   
  
Cordelia smiled up at him, and just then, Buffy returned to the room. "You two are so CUTE together. Don't you think they're cute? How long have you two been together, anyway?"  
  
At this, Cordelia moved away from Xander's embrace and moved next to Angel.  
  
"Buff, Cordy and I aren't together."  
  
"Oh. Well you should be. You two are so cute together."  
  
"Yeah. Got that the first billion times you said it!" Anya bit out.  
  
"Oookaaay. Anyway, what do I do for fun around here?"  
  
"Farm boy, usually." Spike couldn't help but give a little humor to the situation.  
  
"Spike" Giles warned "that is more than enough."  
  
"Who's farm boy?"  
  
"Me" Angel quickly put in. "It's a stupid nickname that Spike likes to call me. Farm boy."  
  
"Strange. But I was thinking more along the lines of going out."  
  
"Buffy, given your current state of health, I do not think that that is such a good idea."  
  
"But Giles! I'm feeling fine! It's not like my memory is going to get any worse! I'm so bored I could scream!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Buffy, but I must put my foot down on this."  
  
"Fine. I'm too tired to talk about this tonight, but I will definitely be ready tomorrow." And with that, Buffy returned to her bedroom.  
  
"Yes, I think it is best if we all retired for the evening. We can discuss more of this tomorrow, when we are all feeling a little more rested."   
  
  
The group complied with Giles. Before long, it was time for everyone to leave for their respective houses. Cordelia and Angel were given an invitation to stay with Giles. Nobody slept very well that night.  
  
Buffy spent the entire night thinking about her life. She wondered what her life was like before. But more than that, she wondered how she caught such a cutie as Angel. She had no doubt that they were a couple. He was the first person that she recognized, and that little comment Spike made just sealed what she already thought...and hoped. "Farm boy" she muttered out loud. Spike is one strange guy.  
  
  
  
  
The next morning, Buffy decided to go for a walk. She threw on a pair of exercise pants and a tank top, and went outside. Nothing about the town seemed familiar to Buffy. She made sure to pay attention to the street signs, so she would be able to find her way back home. She had made a turn on a dead end street, and found herself standing in front of a house that seemed familiar to her. Without another thought, Buffy walked up to the door and rang the bell.   
  
The door opened and a haggard looking man stood in the doorway, his eyes squinted against the sun. "Buffy? Good heavens, what are you doing out by yourself?"  
  
"Giles! This is your house! I had no idea. Cool. Can I come in?" With that, Buffy breezed past him and into his house. "Nice pad."  
  
"Thank you, but once again, how did you get here and why are you out by yourself?"  
  
"I got bored. Took a walk. Saw house. Thought 'familiar'. Rang bell. Hi!  
  
"Excellent" Giles said, sounding like he meant the complete opposite.  
  
"Well, you shouldn't have come without someone. Give me a moment to take a shower and get dressed, and I will take you back home."  
  
"You're no fun! Fine. Go ahead. I'll just keep myself busy." Looking around the room, noticing all the dusty books, Buffy thought, 'Busy, but definitely not entertained'. She went over to the books and started glancing at the titles. Most of them were in another language, she noticed with frustration. One book in particular struck her. It was a beautiful book. It was obviously very old, and the pages were brittle and yellow, but it had a symbol on the front of it that she found beautiful and intriguing.   
  
Opening the cover, she read 'In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will face the forces of darkness..." That is really depressing, Buffy thought. She flipped through the pages, scanning the pages. She paused at the words 'The End'. She opened the book fully on that page, and began to read. 'The forces of darkness will raise the devil, and the world will battle. Light and Darkness, shall together, end existence. The world will know no salvation.  
The Light will parish and the Darkness will rule. The Key will cease to be, unknown, and the Power will cease to be, unknowingly. United they can not stand, Separated they will fall.' "Weird."  
  
"Buffy? What are you doing?"  
  
"Duh! Reading, Giles"  
  
"Yes, of course, but, you don't read."  
  
"I'm illiterate?!"  
  
"No...it's just...Bloody hell! Sorry."  
  
"You've got some weird books, here Giles. I mean WEIRD books. Talking about a key and slayers and power. It's just weird. You should go see a movie or something."  
  
"Did you say key?"  
  
"Yeah! It's right here." Buffy shows the book to him. Giles reads the page again and again. Finally, he lifts his head up to Buffy. "Oh Dear".   
  
  
  
"Giles, what's the big? It's not even one o'clock yet."  
  
"Xander, this is extremely important."  
  
"Where's Angel and Spike?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Uh...they went out last night. Really tied one on. I'm guessing they won't get over their hangovers until, oh I don't know, sunset." Xander said.  
  
"Oh. Must be quite a hangover."  
  
"You have no idea..." Cordelia mumbled.  
  
"Cordelia, would you mind taking Buffy out. She must be getting tired of always sitting around, never going anywhere. Perhaps you should take her shopping." Giles prayed that Cordelia would get the hint.  
  
"Sure! Anything to get out of research!"  
  
"Research? What are you researching?"  
  
"Oh! Uh, a have a paper. You know, research for a paper." Cordelia replied, grinning at her fast thinking.  
  
"But it's summer."  
  
Cordelia's smile faded. "Summer school?"   
  
"Oh" was all Buffy got out as Cordelia ushered her to the door. Xander mouthed 'good save' to her as she walked out, which she replied by sticking her tongue out at him.   
  
"Okay Giles, what did you find?" Willow asked  
  
"Buffy has inadvertently stumbled upon a prophesy. I am not very sure what it means, but it has refrences to both Buffy and Dawn."  
  
  
"All right. So tell us what this prophesy is all about."  
  
Giles read the same text that Buffy had found earlier, then said, "I think it would be best if we took it line by line, and referenced as we went."  
  
"Well I,for one, know exactly what the first line means. I mean the forces of darkness will raise the devil. I'm pretty sure that statement is self explanitory."  
  
"Xander has a point."  
  
"But what about the Darkness and Light ending existance together. Doesn't that sound a little strange. Why would the good guys help end the world?"  
  
"I'm not sure, Willow" Giles began "but it does seem odd that the Light has something to do with not only the world's end, but it's own. The Light will parish...I'm afraid I'm at a loss."  
  
"Okay, moving on. The Key will cease to be, unknown. What about that?"  
  
"Oh, Oh, it could mean that Dawn will be killed, not for being the Key, but for another reason!"  
  
Everyone turned to look at Anya, mouths gaping. "Yes" Giles stuttered, "that could be an explanation. Amazing."  
  
"What? You don't live over a thousand years and not learn how to read between the lines."  
  
"Of course. Next, the Power shall cease to be, unknowingly..."  
  
"Well we can't take it in the same context as we did the Key, because that would mean that Buffy wouldn't know that she was the Slayer, and as we all know, she is very well aware of that fact."  
  
"Xander, you're brilliant. I mean you're wrong, but there's the answer. Buffy *doesn't* know that she is the Slayer. She thinks she is a normal girl. Which means that this prophesy is about to happen"  
  
"You're right, Willow. So the only things that we are at a loss for is why good and evil would work together."  
  
"But Giles, that's impossible. The good guys never help the bad guys. It just isn't done."  
  
"Xander's right, Giles. The only way that would happen, is if we, the good guys undoubtedly, didn't *know* that we were helping out the bad guys"  
  
"Willow has a point. There is no way that Buffy, even if she unknowingly is the Slayer, would do anything to help the Dark side."  
  
"Wow, Xander, you sound like Luke. You know, Star Wars? What ever."  
  
"Hey guys! I think you're missing the point."  
  
"And what point would that be, Anya?"  
  
"It says that the Power helps the Darkness. You said it yourself, *we* are the Light. The good guys. We help the Darkness."  
  
"But we are not knowingly going to do anything for the Darkness."  
  
"Actually" Giles voice sounded very grave "we are doing that at this very moment."  
  
"We are keeping the Slayer *unknowing*. We are helping the Darkness by taking away the protector of the Light. We are going to end the world, by not letting Buffy's memory return."  
  
Giles looked at the prophecy, then back up to the group. "Oh Dear"  
  
the end   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Life Lessons

You know the routine by now. Not mine. Not now, not ever. I just like to borrow   
other peoples toys. It's fun, you should try it….  
Life lessons, Part three  
  
"Uh, Giles… You said it was important that we try to keep Buffy from remembering   
things. Now she needs her memory to save the world? Is this another one of those   
'damned if you do and everyone damned if you don't' type situations?"  
"Yes, Xander. I'm afraid it is."  
"Well we can't just let everyone get sucked into hell, but I don't want Buffy to   
have to leave. She'd never do it anyway. There is no way that Buffy would leave   
her mom and Dawn and us or anybody else for that matter. And there isn't   
anything that you could say that would make her believe otherwise."  
"I don't know, Willow. She might put up a fight, or she might understand what   
must happen and why. Buffy is a very unpredictable girl. Regardless, we all need   
to sit down and discuss how to restore her memory as soon as possible. I don't   
want her doing anything else though. Patrolling is still out. If the Council has   
people watching her, then I want there to be no indication that she has her   
memory back. And when the time comes and we need her to stop the prophecy, it   
will be to late for the Council to do anything to her. She should be relatively   
safe while battling the end of the world."  
"G-man? Did you even pay attention to what you just said?"  
"Well, maybe that wasn't said the best way but…"  
"We get the overall meaning. If the Council thinks that Buffy is still in the   
dark, then they won't send anybody after her. That means there would be no other   
distraction, which allows her to be more focused on the big fight and she'd have   
a better chance of survival. Right?"  
"Yes, Willow. Thank you."  
"No problem…Just call me laymen"  
"All right ~lame~ man"  
"Very funny Xander."  
"Children, please. We need to discuss the best way to go about this."  
"But we are going to allow Buffy's memory to be returned, right?"  
"I don't see that we have any other choice. I hate to do this to her. She'll   
remember everything, fight against the end of the world, and then leave the   
country and never communicate with us ever again. I don't know how I'll- she'll   
deal with this."  
"Well, she and Cordelia will be back soon, it will be dark in another 10 or 15   
minutes. So, we can discuss what needs to be done then."  
"What if Buff doesn't get her memory back soon enough. We don't even know when   
this thing is going to take place. I would think that she would need to train   
some. Isn't there something we can do to, I don't know, further the process   
along?"  
"I think I might be able to find some kind of spell. Tara and I can get the   
ingredients and start the ceremony tonight."  
"Let's be prepared to do just that. But I want to discuss this with Buffy   
first."  
"Okay, well then Tara and I'll head over to the magic box and see what we can   
find."  
"I'm going to go tell Dead Boy and Spike what's going on. Are Buffy and Cordy   
going to come here after the mall?"  
"I would assume so, yes."   
"All right. I'll bring Angel and Spike over here."  
  
  
As soon as the sun was down, Angel was on his way to Buffy's house. Cordelia's   
car pulled up just as Angel was walking to the front door.  
"Hey Angel! What are you doing here? I heard you got pretty hammered last   
night."  
"What?" Angel said, as over Buffy's shoulder he saw Cordelia making the sign for   
'go with it'. "Yeah. Sure." Angel said still confused.   
"Bye Cordy! See you at Giles'. Angel, do you want to come up stairs while I put   
all this stuff away?"  
"Yeah." Angel followed Buffy up to her bedroom.   
"Oh! I ~have~ to show you the new dress that I bought!" She took of her shirt   
and stripped down her pants before Angel could recover from his shock. "Buffy…"   
Before he could say anything else, she went over to where he was sitting on her   
bed and straddled his lap. "Angel, I'm confused. Cordy told me that we have been   
together since I was sixteen years old, but ever since I came out of the   
hospital, you haven't even kissed me. Don't you want to kiss me?"  
"Buffy, it's really complicated. And you're making things difficult by sitting   
on me like this." Buffy smiled at him, "Don't you mean 'harder'?" Then she   
leaned towards him and brushed her lips across his. All of Angel's defenses   
crumbled and he began to kiss her with all the pent up desire and longing he had   
felt since he came back from hell. Unfortunately, this is how Spike and Xander   
found them.  
"What the ~hell~ are you two doing?! Angel! Jesus Christ! You especially know   
how BAD this is! Come on, Buffy, get dressed and meet us downstairs." With that,   
Xander turned and stomped down the hall, the stairs and across the living room   
to the kitchen. Spike, however, stayed behind. "Slayer. Very nice. I haven't   
ever seen this side of you, and I can assure you that it's a pity. You should   
walk around half naked more often."  
"Spike! Get out of my room! Right now! Angel, make him leave!"  
"Spike. Go."  
"Peaches, you're no fun at all." Spike gave Buffy one more long lingering look   
before following after Xander.  
"That was REALLY embarrassing! Why would Xander say that this was bad? Oh- Have   
we never…you know…"  
"Buffy, we have a really complex relationship. We tend to get everyone riled up   
when we get together…and it's not a good riled up. I'm going to go down stairs   
and talk to them. Come on when you get dressed." Angel left her and went to find   
Xander and Spike.   
"I can't ~believe~ what Angel was doing! What was he thinking!? He knows what   
happens when he gets the happies, and he risks it for a half naked Slayer!"  
"Calm down, you're giving me a headache. I, for one, am very proud of Peaches.   
Finally shows the world he's a man! And come on, if you had a half naked slayer   
alone in a bedroom, what would you have done?"  
"Point taken. But I don't think Angel was thinking with his head."  
"Oh, I think that's exactly what he was thinking with. Angel, so good of you to   
join us!"  
"Spike. Now is ~really~ not a good time. What's going on?"  
"Buffy found a prophecy and Giles wants us all over there ASAP."  
"I'm ready." Buffy said as she came into the kitchen. She was still blushing.  
"Then let's go."  
"Spike can I talk to you for a minute?"  
"Sure luv, what can I help you with?"  
"Why did you call me slayer?"  
"Oh. That. Slayer is a girl I know. You remind me a lot of her. Sorry about the   
name thing. Won't happen again, Buffy."  
"That's okay… Is she an old girlfriend?"  
"I wish. No she isn't a girlfriend or anything."  
"Do you want her to be?"  
"I honestly don't know. She loves someone else, but she makes me crazy. Ever   
since I've known her, I've hated her. Now all of a sudden, I can't get her out   
of my head. And believe me, it's not because y- she is any sweeter. She is still   
the same egomaniac she ever was. Thinking the world is going to end if SHE   
doesn't stop it. Doesn't think that anyone is good enough for her. Thinks that   
people are BENEATH y- her. Now that I think about it, she really is quite   
annoying."  
"So why do you like her?"  
"Because she knows me. She may hate me, but she understands me and she knows me.   
She's not afraid of me. She stands up to me, and I like that. Or it could be   
that I'm sexually frustrated."  
"Well, I think you're a cool guy. She probably thinks so too. But if she's got   
someone else then she's got someone else."  
"Yeah, I guess your right. But I don't like it and I don't have to."  
"You're right. You don't have to like it. But you do have to deal with it, and   
that's even harder."  
"Guys! Come on, I want to go by McDonalds before we go to Giles."  
"Xander, please! You're always hungry. Wait! I know that Xander is always   
hungry! Good for me. Good Buffy!"  
"If you're finished congratulating yourself, can we go?"  
"You're just jealous because I am the smartest woman in the WORLD!!!!"  
"Sure Buff. Let's go."  
  
  
"Giles. Sorry that we're late, Xander here insisted on going to five different   
fast food joints on the way here."  
"Oh! Come on! McDonalds has the best burgers, Burger King has the best fries,   
and Wendy's has the best prices on drinks. I'm a food connoisseur."  
"Xander, I don't believe you should use that particular title when referring to   
fast food restaurants. It doesn't quite fit."  
"Can we just get to the point of why we are all here? I thought everything was   
already decided."  
"Spike, the plans have changed. And now this includes Buffy."  
"Me? What includes me? What has been excluding me?"  
"Buffy calm down. I am sorry to admit it, but there is something that we have   
been keeping from you. We thought it was best for you, but the situation has   
changed and it is important that you no who you are. You are what we refer to as   
a S-"  
"Hold on just a bloody minute! We agreed that we would keep it from her! You   
just can't tell her now!"  
"Spike, like I said, the situation has changed. Buffy, you are the Slayer, and   
you have certain responsibilities to this community. Well, the world really.   
Buffy?"  
As soon as Giles called her 'Slayer', Buffy's attention snapped to Spike. "Yeah…   
  
What? I'm sorry, Giles, my mind went somewhere else."  
"Yes, but did you hear what I said?"   
"Yes. Slayer. Responsibility."  
"Buffy, I want to return your memories to you. A simple spell will do the trick.   
It's quite safe and you'll remember everything that has happened. Well, shall we   
get on with it?"  
"No."  
"Angel? For the love of God, what is it?"  
"One more night. I want one more night with her before we cast the spell."  
"Why can't we have a date after my memory is returned. Wouldn't it be more fun   
that way?"  
"Buffy, before the accident, you told me that sometimes you wished that you   
didn't have the slayer thing to deal with. You just wanted to have one night and   
not think about it, be a normal girl. I want to spend that evening with you.   
Will you let me do that?"  
"Of course. I think that is a wonderful idea."  
"I'm not so sure that is a good idea."  
"Why not Giles?"  
"Buffy, there are certain aspects of your relationship with Angel that are   
unhealthy to say the least."  
"Angel, do you have some sort of STD I should know about?"  
"No. Giles, I am not even considering something like that. It would be a good   
wholesome date. The last night that Buffy can be without the Slayer."  
"Stop stating your case to Giles, I already said that it sounded like a good   
idea. Sorry Giles, but you have been vetoed. When do we go and where are we   
going?"  
"I was thinking dinner and a movie."  
"I do hope you mean in a theatre, rather than renting one."  
"Giles, stay out of it. Dinner and a movie sound great. You want to go now?"  
"Yeah. Let's go. We'll talk to you later, guys. After you." Angel closed the   
door after Buffy. "I hope this isn't the biggest mistake ever made in the   
history of the world."  
"Xander, don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? I lived in fear of   
Angelus when I first started working with Angel, but he's fine. He hasn't even   
kissed her."  
"Actually, luv, the only time that I've seen him kiss the slayer is when she was   
half naked, sitting on top of him…but I'm sure you're right. Everything will be   
fine."  
The room sat in silence after Spike's story. Giles spoke first, "Oh Dear".  
  
  
  
Buff and Angel arrived at the restaurant, Angel held the door open as she walked   
through. The hostess led them threw a maze of tables and sat them down in a   
little booth. Buffy and Angel looked over their menus for a moment.   
"What are you going to have?"  
"I don't know. None of this stuff is really up my alley. But the steak looks the   
best so…what about you?"  
"I want the Chicken Alfredo and the soup. She sat quietly for a moment, then   
asked, "What was up with Giles tonight. He really didn't want us to go out. Have   
we been dealing with this our entire relationship?"  
"No. I actually left Sunnydale. Right after your graduation I took off. We saw   
each other a couple of times, but it was really hard for us."  
"Why? What could be so wrong with us? What happened."  
"We just discovered that we couldn't be together anymore. It isn't anything we   
can change, or get around. Being together just got too hard for us to handle. So   
I moved to LA, you stayed here and saved the world, and you moved on with your   
life."  
"What about you? Did you move on with your life?"  
"I don't know. Cordelia says that I still 'brood' after you. But I don't think   
about you as much as I used to. I'm getting used to not needing you. But none of   
that changes the fact that ever time I see you…my heart stops."  
"Do you still love me?"  
Angel remembered the first time that she asked him that question, and was ready   
for it this time. "Buffy, I am so in love with you, that it makes me crazy. I   
have made so many sacrifices and I would do it all again. I don't mind being   
miserable if it gives you the chance to move on with your life. I've loved you   
from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I will love you till I die. Good   
enough answer."  
Buffy snapped out of the trance that his words had put her in. Buffy started   
giggling uncontrollably. "Angel! That is the funniest thing you have ever said!   
I'm not kidding. It's priceless. I can't remember what shops I like to go to,   
but every time you're around me I get all hot, and I'm sure that you can see my   
face go bright red. You just confessed that you love me more than I can imagine   
anyone loving anybody else, and we can't work this out?! That's rich! How   
pathetic are we? It's not like the world would end if we got together."  
Angel looked at Buffy, who was still laughing as if she heard the funniest joke   
in the world. He smiled sadly at her, and said, "Actually, it would."  
"This made Buffy stop laughing. Okay, that was doom and gloom. I thought I was   
going having to deal with this in the morning. So knock it off. Let's just   
forget about it, okay?"  
"Okay. So, what movie do you want to see after dinner?"  
"A comedy. Any comedy." The waiter came over and asked for their orders. Angel   
ordered his stake rare.  
"Tell me a funny story."  
"What?" Angel asked.  
"Tell me a funny story. It just occurred to me that I haven't seen you really   
laugh. Since I don't know any funny stories, I thought you could think of one."  
Angel thought about a story that he could find humorous enough to tell her, but   
his mind drew a complete blank. "I really don't know any funny stories."  
"Alright, then I'll have to lower myself to joke telling. Let's see….Oh, I heard   
Xander telling one today. It's kind of dirty, but here goes. Once there was a   
group of whales that had the best fishing spot in the entire ocean. One day,   
fishermen came to their spot, and started getting all the fish. The whales   
started to starve, so the king of the whales held a big whale meeting. He   
explained to everyone what was going on, and then said 'Here's my idea. I think   
we should take water into our blowholes, swim under the boats, and spray the   
water out of our blowholes. When the boats tip over, we'll eat all the   
fishermen, and then no one will ever come to our fishing spot ever again'.   
"All the whales started cheering, excited over this plan that they were sure was   
going to work, when this one little girl whale swam up to the front, and said,   
"Excuse me! I have no problem with the blow job, but I refuse to swallow   
seamen."  
Angel roared with laughter. He never thought he would see the day when Buffy   
Summers told a dirty joke. She was absolutely amazing!  
"Go me. Made you laugh."  
Angel still couldn't get his laughter under control. He was practically rolling   
on the floor of the restaurant. Buffy thought he was the most beautiful man that   
she had ever seen. "You are so beautiful when you smile."  
Angel looked at her, still having the laughter in his eyes. He saw complete and   
total love in her eyes, as she sat gazing at him. His smile faded and he reached   
for her hand. You make me smile, so I guess you make me beautiful."  
"God, Angel…you are good! If I didn't know how much people were counting on me   
~not~ to sleep with you, I'd probably jump you right here!"  
This made Angel laugh again, and he smiled at her. Some day, Buffy, we are going   
to be good together. And I will never let you out of my sight."  
"I'm counting on it."  
"Here's your bill." The waiter cut in, "You two have a great night. Thanks for   
coming in."  
"Alright, next on the list of things to do before I am sucked into certain doom,   
is see a comedy. Do you know what's playing right now?"  
"No, but we'll head out to the theatre and see what's playing. Race you to the   
car!"  
They both shot out running as fast as they could possibly run. Buffy beat him,   
it seemed to her as if Angel was oddly pleased. "Buffy. Don't ever change. Stay   
the way you are for ever and ever."  
"That's a little impossible, Angel. Unless of course I am immortal, which I'm   
not. I'll get old and wrinkled and my hair will turn gray and I'll get dentures.   
It won't be pretty, but I'll be better looking than you will be. You have a few   
years on me to begin with."  
Angel stopped laughing and looked at her. She was right. She was going to grow   
old and die, and Angel wouldn't be there to grow old with her. The thought was   
like a bucket of ice being thrown on him.   
"Oh no. Oh no you don't! You can be broody tomorrow, but tonight you better be   
one hell of a happy go lucky guy or I will beat you up!"  
Angel looked down at his love. A smile traveled up his lips to his eyes. "Buffy   
Summers. You better believe that you will get old and gray and wrinkled. Nothing   
is going to stop that from happening. Consider it my goal in life."  
"Will do. Now come on! I want to see something funny, and that happens to be   
starring a gorgeous guy."  
"Well, I can't think of any comedic movies that I have done lately, so we'll   
have to settle for 1 out of 2, okay?"  
"HaHa Angel. You think you're funny now? Huh?! Yeah, you're just a regular Robin   
Williams."  
"Actually, I like to think of my humor more of the John Stewart type."  
"Another one! Wonderful, you're a laugh a minute, you know that?" They stopped   
and looked at each other. Under the marquee of the movie theatre, Angel slowly   
lowered his head to hers, and kissed her deeply, but gently. He pulled away and   
he looked at her again, her eyes still closed. "Buffy."  
"Yummy" was her only reply.  
"Come on. Let's see what's playing. The rest of their date went off without a   
hitch. Neither one could imagine the night ending. They didn't know what would   
happen tomorrow, and tonight, they didn't care. They were also unaware of the   
vampire standing in the shadows, watching the scene between the two lovers. A   
bloody tear ran down the vampire's cheek. "Buffy…I know I can't have you. I know   
that he can't either." The vampire walked into the darkness, planning the demise   
of the slayer.  
The end  



	4. Life Lessons

  
  
The characters aren't mine. Read on...  
  
  
Life Lessons Part Four  
  
  
"Was your night a tenth as good as mine was?" Buffy asked Angel as he walked her to the door. "Yeah, I think so. At least it was a ninth. I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt, though." Buffy punched him in the arm. "Thanks a lot! You're quite a charmer aren't you? I really did have a great night. Thanks."  
  
"I had a great night, too. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Angel leaned down and kissed her. He kissed her deeply, and kept on kissing her. This went on for a while.  
  
"Angel?" Buffy said as she pulled herself from him. "Uh, not to sound like a prude or anything, but your hands were just doing things that shouldn't be done on the front porch of my house. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Fuller has seen enough. It will probably 'slip' out when she's talking to my mom tomorrow."  
  
"Sorry." Angel said, a little unfocused on what she was saying. He could still feel her lips against his. He wanted her so badly that he couldn't think straight. He knew Buffy was pulling him somewhere, and his body followed her. He was mindless, just looking at her, with a slight smile on her lips and her eyes bright, looking up at him with the expectation of something. He snapped out of it as he hit the entrance of the door. Buffy stood right inside of her house, looking questioningly at Angel.   
  
"Angel? Aren't you going to come inside?" Angel felt the barrier between the house and himself disappear, and he almost fell forward. "Uh, Buffy. I think I'm going to go home. WE both need to get a good night's sleep tonight. I'll see you tomorrow night." With that, Angel turned to leave, a slightly bewildered Buffy looking after him.  
  
Angel walked to the cemetery, and knocked on the door to Spikes crypt.  
"Bloody hell, Peaches, you're getting softer on me. I thought one date with the Slayer would have you growlin' at everyone in a five meter radius. Guess I gave you more benefit than you deserve."  
  
"I don't know why I'm here Spike, but if you bug me, I swear I'll go back to Giles and ask him if his offer of a place to stay still stands."  
  
"I don't know why you left there in the first place. So, explain it to me Peaches. I would've thought you would turn the old man down when he suggested you stay there in the first place. Then the next thing I know, you're banging on my door. Did you miss me that much?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand, Spike."  
  
"Try me. After the Slayer's mum got sick, I've been getting better at understanding."  
  
Angel looked up at Spike. After a moment he said, "He had a picture of Jenny. I found it in one of the books I was looking through. I couldn't stay after that."  
  
If Angel had been looking at Spike when he finished the story, he would have seen a look of sympathy cross his face before he thought to cover it up. 'I'm getting' as soft as lover boy' he thought to himself. "You're right, Angel. I don't understand. It was a nice story anyway. Sort of gets me right here." Spike patted the portion of his chest where his dead heart was.  
  
"Whatever, Spike. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Did you enjoy the movie?"  
  
"How did you know we went to a movie?"  
  
Spike just shrugged his shoulder. "What else did you do?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What else did you and the Slayer do on your bloody date?"  
  
"Oh. We went to dinner before the movie. That's it. Why?"  
  
"Dunno. I just always wondered she likes to do. Besides running through graveyards and sharpening sticks. I mean, I know she likes to play pool. She's pretty good too. We were playing just the other night, and she actually got the eight ball in the side pocket on the right hand side, just after she called it. Of course she was wearing that shirt. You know the one I'm talking about. I think that might be her lucky shirt. I can't remember a time that she has worn that shirt and gotten hurt. Can you?"  
  
Angel had been staring at Spike ever since he started rambling on about Buffy. "Unbelievable."  
  
"What's so bloody unbelievable, Peaches? This is my lucky jacket. Everybody's got a lucky something. She's even got a bloody lucky stake!"  
  
"Spike, you're in love with her."  
  
"Sod off you soulful Poof! I love me, and that's about it."  
  
"You're in love with Buffy!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Yes you are! I can tell! Does she know, I mean did she know?"  
  
"Bloody hell! If you say that one more time I'm going to - ugh! Bloody chip! See what you're doing to me? Fuck this, I'm leaving."   
  
"Spike, come on! Don't go! I promise I won't say that you love Buffy..." the door of the crypt slamming shut cut off his words.  
  
Later that night, Angel woke up when he heard a drunk Spike walking into the crypt. "I'm not in luuuuv with the bloo'y Shlayer. I'm not. I'd like to shlay her...right in my bed... no! I 'ate the bloo'y shlayer." Angel tried not to laugh out loud, his shoulders shaking with the effort. He heard Spike fall on top of his bed.   
  
"Spike?" Angel asked quietly. After a moment, there was no answer. Satisfied that Spike passed out, Angel let out a bark of laughter before turning over and going to sleep.  
  
  
"Do you know where my bloody blanket is? I'm not going to sit around here all day with you again."  
  
"Where are you going to go once you find the blanket?"  
  
"Well, Slayer gets her memory back today, thought I'd go over there and rile her up a bit. Might be fun."  
  
"I'll look for the blanket over here."  
  
"Thought you might, Peaches."  
  
In less than fifteen minutes both vampires were out the door. In less than five minutes they were at Giles' house.  
  
"Uh, guys? What's with the blankets?"  
  
"Well Buffy, Spike here has sort of got one of those comfort problems. Can't really go anywhere without his blanky. Right, Spike."  
  
"Right, you bloody wanker."  
  
"Anyway, we're ready start the spell. Tara and Willow have everything ready. Giles said that you two would probably show up, so we were waiting for you."  
  
"Well, we're here, so lets get the bloody show on the road. By the by, what's the stake for?"  
  
There was a powder circle in the center of Giles' living room, Buffy was already standing inside, holding a stake.  
  
"Buffy has to be holding something that was important to her, before she lost her memory. Alright, Tara, are you ready?"  
  
"Yes. Come stand by me and take my hand."  
  
Tara and Willow stood by the circle, holding hand. They began to chant the same lines over and over again. Buffy stood in the center, gripping the stake, her knuckles turning white, her brow furrowed in pain. Thoughts and words and actions circled her mind again and again. Buffy started screaming in agony. Angel stepped forward to go to her, but was held back by Giles. He didn't say anything, but gave a harsh look from Angel, to the circle, and back. Angel got the hint and took a step back. The chant finished and Buffy fell to the floor, curling up in the fetal position, still moaning. "Now you can go to her." Giles said to Angel.   
  
Angel went to Buffy and knelt down beside her. He picked her up in his arms and sat with her on the floor. He whispered words in her ear, and smoothed back her hair, which was matted with sweat. "Angel", Buffy croaked.   
  
"I'm here. Can I get you anything?"  
  
"Water. Please."  
  
Angel got up and went to the kitchen. As soon as he opened the cabinet to get a glass out, he heard voices raised and rushed back in. Everyone was at the door, the door standing open. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"She's gone. As soon as you got up, the little pisser ran for the door. Got a good handle on her before she threw me against that bloody wall."  
  
"Willow, Xander, I can't go after her. Find her please."  
  
Willow and Xander were out the door before he finished.   
  
"I think it would be a good idea if you and Spike went back to the crypt. We'll call you when we find her."  
  
Angel stared at Giles, then reluctantly nodded his head. He grabbed the blanket and threw it over him and Spike. With one last look at Giles, they left the house.   
  
  
  
"Buffy! Buffy!" Willow and Xander were walking all over the neighborhood, looking for Buffy. They had gone to her house first, but her mother said that she wasn't there yet. They had already been to the cemetery. Xander half jokingly said they should walk up and down every street yelling her name, and after forty-five minutes, the joke became their best option.  
  
"Buffy! Come out, come out, where ever you are!" Xander shouted  
  
"Buffy! Come on! Where are you!" Willow pleaded loudly  
  
"Hey guys. You've been gone for like, two hours. Thought you'd like some help." Willow and Xander turned to find Anya, Cordelia, Dawn, Giles, and Tara.  
"We even brought our tennis shoes." Dawn said proudly  
  
"Thanks guys. I'm getting the feeling, however that she doesn't want to be found. Will and I have walked up and down every street at least three times, and still no Buffster."  
  
"Well, I think we can all say that the spell was hard on her. I just hope that it didn't cause any serious damage."  
  
"Well, I know a thing or three about images being shoved into your head in under a minute, but the girl had some serious memories to deal with. She probably wants to be left alone until she can figure it all out."  
  
"Cordelia's right. Why don't you all go home. If anyone sees her, please let the rest of us know. I for one am completely exhausted. I'm sure that Buffy will show up at someone's house, if not her own. Good night."  
  
"Good night, Giles" Everyone chorused.  
  
  
  
As soon as the sun was down, Angel and Spike set out to find Buffy. They spent three hours walking and retracing their steps, and still found no sign of her. "I'm going back now, Peaches. You can stay out here looking for the bloody girl all you want, but I'm hungry. Are you coming?"  
  
"No. I want to look for her a little longer. She has to be around here somewhere."  
  
"Suite yourself." Spike lit up the last cigarette of his pack and walked away.  
He was nearing the crypt when an almost silent sound made him look up. He saw what looked like the tip of a shoe hanging over the top of the crypt. Spike, with one swift leap, was on top of the mausoleum, looking down at Buffy.  
  
She was just lying there, on her back. Her eyes were open, but staring unseeingly at he stars in the sky. Spike felt one moment of dread until he noticed the rise and fall of her chest. "You're in my way" she said.  
  
"So bloody sorry, Slayer." He turned to leave  
  
"Lay down"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me. Lay down."  
  
Spike looked at her curiously before lying down next to the Slayer.  
  
"It's sort of comforting, you know. If you stare long enough, the stars become your world. Nothing but the stars. No demons, no death, no heartbreaks, no responsibilities. Nothing. You could lose yourself in the stars."  
  
"That may be, Slayer, but think about how many of those stars are already burnt out. They might shine here, but they no longer exist. They're real to us, but not real at all."  
  
"Like me."  
  
"Now that's a little conceited. How are you anything like a star?"  
  
"I'm still here. But I burnt out a long time ago."  
  
"Are you talking about that stupid fledging that got a lucky jab?"  
  
"And other things. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm so damned unhappy all the time. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I've turned into a complete bitch."  
  
"I've noticed."  
  
"Spike. I didn't mean what I said."  
  
"Well you should. You are a bitch."  
  
"Not that" Buffy said with a sort laugh. "I didn't mean to say that you were beneath me. You're not. You never have been. I understand that you can't hurt any of us because of the chip, but you go a step further. You HELP us. You could have let the madness demon kill me. It wouldn't have set the chip off. You knew that, but you still threw me a stick." Buffy took her eyes off the sky and looked at Spike.   
  
"I won't say that I love you Spike, but I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you. Regardless of how you feel about it, or how much you bitch and complain about it, you're a part of my life. Everyone's life actually. My mother adores you."  
  
"Does she now? That girls got taste."  
  
"Spike. I like having you in my life. I like you always being around, even when you're being mean, saying bloody this, bloody that. Even though this will probably piss you off, you ARE my friend."  
  
"Well. Don't know what to say about that. You'll have to give me the chance to get used to it."  
  
"No I don't. You're already used to it. Aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, Slayer, I guess I am."  
  
"Are you glad you're my friend?"  
  
"Yeah. Are you glad you're MY friend?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Good"  
  
"Yeah, good"  
  
"Ya' know, Peaches is still looking around for you. I'm sure the other are worried sick too."  
  
"I need to call someone and tell them I'm all right. I can't see him right now."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"He was human."  
  
"The ring was powerful, but it didn't make him human."  
  
"Not that. He was human. Heartbeat and everything else. He asked the Oracles to take the day back, make him a human again."  
  
"Now why would he do that?"  
  
"He said that he wouldn't be strong enough to help me if he was human. But he isn't here, is he. If he stayed a vampire for me, then why isn't he here to make sure that I don't die. If that's why he gave up our life together, then why isn't he here to make sure that it wasn't for nothing?"  
  
"Slayer, I don't know if you know this or not, but every time you break a bloody nail he calls Giles to see if he should come to file it down for you. He isn't one of my favorite people, but he loves you with his soul. And considering the situation, I'd say that's means a lot. So stop being so selfish and go find the bloke. Just don't make him too happy, there's still that whole Angelus thing that even I don't want to deal with again."  
  
"Did he tell you that Drusilla is back?"  
  
"Dru? In Sunnydale!"  
  
"No. A law firm in LA found her and brought her back. It's the same firm that brought Darla back from hell and made her human. Dru turned her."  
  
"Bloody hell. I'm guessing that Peaches didn't like that too much."  
  
"He's absolutely obsessed about it. He thinks it's his fault, that he didn't do enough to stop it."  
  
"Well, he takes the blame for everything. Shouldn't surprise you. God, Dru. I can't believe she's back, and didn't even come and see me. Course, now I wouldn't want her to see me."  
  
"Are you telling me that you're over her?"  
  
"God, no! I'm a fucking impotent vampire, and I've got a slayer as my best friend. Why in the bloody hell would I want her to see me like this?"  
  
"Spike, Spike, Spike. Go inside. Have some blood. I'll see you later on."  
  
"See ya Slayer"  
  
  
"   
  
  
  
  



	5. Life Lessons

2nd half of Part 4  
  
Authors note: Okay, I didn't do a very good job of proof reading the first half of part 4 (this should be a lesson to us all), so here is the part that got deleted...hope you enjoy the rest of it  
  
Picks up: Right after B/S conversation, Buffy goes looking for Angel...  
  
  
  
  
  
"I've been looking everywhere for you! Would you like to tell me why you've been hiding here since, like, forever?"   
  
Angel turned as soon as he heard her voice. "Buffy! Where have you been?"  
  
"Spike and I have been having a little heart to dead heart. Time just got away from me. I'm sorry Angel."  
  
"Don't apologize to me. Giles and the rest of them spent the entire day looking for you."  
  
"Then I'm sorry about that too, but that's not what I'm apologizing to you for.   
  
"What are you sorry about?"  
  
"For not remembering. I'm sorry for promising that I would never forget that day, and then forgetting. I am so sorry, Angel. I shouldn't have left. I should have remembered. As our last minute together was ticking down, I held you and promised that I wouldn't forget. Even if I couldn't do anything about the day being erased, I should have remembered."  
  
Angel was shocked. He couldn't believe that she remembered. "I thought you would be mad at me."  
  
"I was. Actually, I was really mad at you. But then Spike and I talked it over, and I remembered a few more things, didn't make me quite so mad anymore."  
  
"What did you remember?"  
  
"The ice cream. You still buy that ice cream. We ate that ice cream together. I love that you still buy that ice cream and think of it as your comfort food." Buffy started crying, and Angel went to her, holding her tightly.  
  
"I wanted to tell you so badly. I wanted to tell you that I loved you, and beg you not to go back. It almost killed me to know how we could be together, and I didn't think that you'd understand why I had to give it all up."  
  
"It's okay. I probably wouldn't have understood. But I do now. I love you so much Angel! I love that you made that sacrifice for me."  
  
"I'd make any sacrifice for you. You know that."  
  
"Yes. I do know that. I love you so much!"  
  
A dark figure came out of the shadows. "Well. Isn't this just the sweetest scene? The Slayer and the Vampire, facing the odds, just to be together. Beautiful. I'm kidding really, it's rather pathetic."  
  
Angel looked up to see Riley standing there. He put Buffy behind his back, trying to protect her.  
  
"Riley...I told you that I loved him. I told you that we were over. I didn't mean to hurt you, I really didn't. I'm sorry if this is hard for you."  
  
"It's not hard for me at all. I understand, I really do."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah! What's not to understand? You like vampires. I wasn't a vampire. Completely understandable."  
  
"I'm so glad that you- wait, you weren't a vampire?"  
  
"The girl catches on fast. Yes, I WASN'T a vampire. But you see, we can be together now. I'm not going to run off and leave you. I'm not going to kill off everyone that meant anything to you. I'm just going to be with you. Forever."  
  
"Riley. Please tell me that you didn't do this on purpose. Someone made you against your will, right?"  
  
"Don't be stupid, Buffy! Of course I did this on purpose! I did this for you!"  
  
"Riley! I don't love Angel because he's a vampire, I love him in spite of it."  
  
"No you don't. You just think that because it makes you feel better to think that. But it's not true. Just come over here. I'll make you see that you will love me again. First it was Angel, then he left so you had some love hate relationship with Spike, but now I'm here. We can just get rid of both of them, and you and I will be able to be together. Come here, Buffy."  
  
"Riley, no. You don't understand. I'm not in love with you. I've never been in love with you. I am SO sorry that you turned yourself for me, but it doesn't make a difference! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Buffy, I did this for you! Do you think that I wanted this for myself? NO! Hell no! It was all for you! No quite hiding behind him and come to me...NOW!"  
  
"Riley, no! I don't love you! I don't want to be with you!"  
  
"That's what I thought. I expected more from you Buffy, I really did. You are one sick little girl, you know that? Looks like I'm going to have to kill somebody now. Maybe Willow...or Giles. Wait. Your mother's really sick right now, isn't she? I bet I could make her feel much better. What do you think?"  
  
He turns to leave. "Riley, no! Wait. I understand now. I know what you were thinking. It took me a minute, but I realize the sacrifice that you made for me. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do just like vampires. Do you still want me?"  
  
"Buffy? No. What are you doing?"  
  
"Angel, Riley's right. Look at the sacrifice he made for me. I have to give him a chance." She pulled away from Angel and walked towards Riley. "Riley, I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"I might. If you make just one small sacrifice in return."  
  
"Anything! What do you want?"  
  
"I want you to join me."  
  
"If that is what it takes, then the sacrifice is small enough." Buffy walked towards him, pulling her hair away from her neck. She walked towards Riley with a seductive smile on her lips. Riley looked over her shoulder at Angel, who looked ready to faint in one second, and kill both of them.  
  
"We are going to be together forever, Buffy." He lowered his head to her neck, and in the next second, he exploded into dust. Buffy turned away from where Riley was standing and looked at Angel. She thought that he looked a little paler, if that was possible. "What a sick fucker", she said as she went to Angel.  
  
"Buffy! You scared the SHIT out of me!"  
  
"I had to make it seem real."  
  
"You did."  
  
"Stop looking at me like that. It was a good plan."  
  
"Maybe too good."  
  
"Come on, I want to go find the others, let them know I'm alright."  
  
"Are YOU all right?"  
  
"Yes. I feel bad that Riley turned for me, but I don't feel bad about staking him. You know, if he hadn't threatened anybody I probably would have let him go."  
  
"Well, lets go find everybody else."  
  
  
  
  
"Buffy! Giles! Buffy and Angel are here!" Giles came out of the kitchen.  
  
"Buffy! Where have you been? Everybody was out looking for you. I finally had to send them home."  
  
"I'm sorry that I worried everyone. I just needed some time by myself."  
  
"Well, that is understandable, but I promised everyone that I would call as soon as you showed up. If you'll excuse me."  
  
"Thanks, Giles. Wait Cordelia. There is something that I want to say to both of you. I am so sorry about Wesley. I know that he was like family to you both."  
  
"Thanks, Buffy. It means a lot that with everything going on, that you still remembered him." Buffy took a step toward Cordelia, and hugged her. Cordelia was stunned at first (Buffy NEVER showed affection towards her) but recovered and put her arms around Buffy as well.  
  
"Are you two going to take this any further, cause if you are I'd really like to get some popcorn."  
  
"Xander! How did you get over here so fast?" Buffy asked  
  
"Actually, Anya wanted to go for another round and frankly, I was too tired. So I told her that I had to come over here and research."  
  
"Another round of what?" Cordelia asked, thinking she was out of the loop.  
  
"Cordelia, think about it. Anya, a.k.a. sex fiend. What's your take on it?"  
  
"Oh! Ohhhhhhhh. Ewwwwww. WAY too much information."  
  
"I'm going to go see if Giles needs any help." Cordelia said and went to the kitchen  
  
"I'm going to see if Giles has any food." Xander followed Cordelia.   
  
Buffy and Angel sat on the couch in a comfortable silence, their hands clasped between them. Both were thinking about the unexpected turn their lives had taken tonight. "Buffy?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
"Same thing you are, probably."  
  
"Where are we going to go from here?"  
  
"I don't know" Buffy said, looking into Angel's eyes, "but we'll go there together."  
  
End part four--------now, please be a dear and fill out the little review form below! Thank you QueenB...  
  
  
  
  



	6. Life Lessons

Characters: Not mine, otherwise Riley would have died last Tuesday night rather than take off for some stupid mission, and Buffy wouldn't be brain dead (which is obviously what was going on).  
  
Story: Life Lessons Part 5   
  
Reviews: Please! If the reviews are good I'll love you, if they're bad I'll delete them, but write regardless!  
  
  
  
Cordelia, Xander and Giles walked into the living room, where Buffy and Angel are once again, locking lips. "You two really have to stop doing that! You can't just go around making people lose their lunch!" Cordelia said distastefully  
  
"Wow, Cordy, that was really sweet! I mean it...I just hope your not jealous."  
  
"Please, Buffy, I'm the one that has to go back with Angel to LA, and I'm really glad that he won't be moping around, but I still don't want to see tongues out of the respective mouths. Please, have mercy on us and our upchuck reflex."  
  
"Cordelia, if I remember correctly, and I do, you and Xander thought you lived in each other's mouths."  
  
"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy...at least Xander and I had the decency to find a janitors closet!"  
  
"Ooh! Giles, can we borrow your closet?"  
  
"Buffy, I do not find that humorous in the very least. And I must agree with Cordelia, to a point. You and Angel must separate from each other for the time being. I am thankful for the fact that you two fight so well together, but I'm sure that your...energies... would be better focused on your training."  
  
The doorbell rang, and Giles opened the door to find Willow, Tara, Dawn and Spike waiting outside.  
  
"Ah, everyone is here."  
  
"Yeah" Willow said "Buffy, we called your mom and told her that you were over here and that you were okay."  
  
"Thanks Will. Dawn? What are you doing over here?"  
  
"I came to help out. I can stay, right?"  
  
"Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea."  
  
"Actually Buffy, I think Dawn could help us out. We need all the hands we can get."  
  
"See! Giles said yes and he's like your boss and everything, so I guess I'm in!"  
  
"Fine, but if you get in the way or mess anything up I'm going to hurt you."  
  
"Alright, we should get started. I'm having trouble finding more information on the prophecy. We have already done what was needed by restoring Buffy's memory, but I'm afraid the part about D-the Key, is a bit more difficult."  
  
"What does the part about the Key say?" Dawn asked  
  
"Well, we have translated it to mean that the something dire will happen to the key, that has nothing to do with the prophecy. I can only assume Glory will be the one to blame." Giles said in a disturbed voice. "I'm guessing that the death or capture of the key will signal the prophecy."  
  
"Okay, then we find Glory and kill her. Protect D- the Key, and stop the prophecy."  
  
"But it's a prophecy, Buffy. I don't know why, but that sort of makes me think that it is going to happen...regardless."  
  
"We've stopped prophecies before, Xander!"  
  
"No, actually all the events foretold have happened. We just stop the ending result."  
  
"Well then I guess we'll have to think about keeping Dawn alive as an ending result!"  
  
A hush fell over the group. Buffy, realizing what she had just said, lowered her head, hoping that Dawn didn't hear.  
  
Unfortunately, Dawn paid attention to everything that the group had been saying.   
  
"Buffy? Am I the Key?"  
  
"Ah, Dawn, I think that your sister is just under an immense amount of pressure. She didn't mean that-"  
  
"Yes. Dawn. You are the Key"  
  
"Buffy, I'm not sure that it is wise..." Giles began, but Buffy stopped him by raising her eyes to him.  
  
"She needs to know Giles. Maybe we can't protect her, but she might be able to protect herself. If something were to happen, and someone yelled for Dawn to run and hide somewhere, then she's not going to ask questions about it. If she understands what she is and how important she is to the world, then she will run when we tell her to, hide when we tell her to, and hopefully stay alive. The world needs her alive."  
  
"Okay. Not that I don't like being important to billions of people, what am I again. Just so I understand." Buffy looked at Dawn. She didn't know what everyone was talking about, and she sounded like such a little girl. And so scared.  
  
"Dawn, you are the key. You've been around since the beginning of time. You are kind of like the power source for all good things and you are extremely important. There is a demon, Glory, ever since you have been around, she has been looking for you. She knows that you are in Sunnydale. She is stronger than anything I have ever faced before, so if she finds you, we can't stop anything that she'll do."  
  
Dawn paused before saying anything, trying to process all the information "Wow...Buffy, next time that you tell me something like this, could you do me and favor and hold back. A lot."  
  
"Dawn, I know this must be very difficult for you to take in right now, but I assure you that none of us would ever let anything happen-"  
  
"If I've been around since the beginning of time, then why do I not remember anything?"  
  
Everyone looked at Buffy. "Why is it I get all the shity questions to answer?" Buffy took a minute before finishing. "Okay. You haven't always been the way you are. You were given this shape by a bunch of monks in order to hide you...and given to me to protect."  
  
"Are you saying that I'm not really your sister."  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay, I'm leaving now!"  
  
"Dawn! Wait! Please don't leave here."  
  
"Why, cause if I get taken the world will end? Because I'm the Key? I don't care!" Dawn turns to leave. Buffy runs over to her before she can reach the door and grabs her arm, pulling Dawn towards her. Dawn pulls her arm back and pushes Buffy, throwing her all the way across the room. Buffy slams into the wall with such a force that some of the bricks start to break apart.   
  
Everyone sat shocked, staring at Dawn. Dawn was staring at Buffy, Buffy wasn't staring at anybody because she was unconscious for the moment.  
  
"Dear me! Dawn, what did you do, rather how did you do it? This is absolutely remarkable. There has been no indication in any of the books that the Key would hold so much physical power. This is amazing. I must consult my books." With that, Giles left the group who still sat staring at Dawn.  
  
"Dawn, uh, are you all right?"  
  
Dawn looked at Xander, eyes wide. A tear started rolling down her cheek. She gave one more look to Buffy before running out of Giles' house.  
  
"This really isn't good."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes at the statement, "Duh, Xander!"  
  
  
  
Buffy came to shortly after Dawn left Giles' place. Angel was patting her forehead with a cool washcloth. "What the hell happened."  
  
"Your little sister beat you up." Xander said helpfully  
  
"Where's Dawn now?"  
  
"That seems to be the $65,000 question, and considering I suck at that pyramid game no matter how many times I watch the reruns, looks like we're going to lose this round."  
  
"Actually, Xander, we're not. I've done some research on the Key, and it seems that those monks knew what they were doing by casting a spell to put all that power in human form."  
  
"Giles, please explain a little further...in English."  
  
"Oh, of course. It seems that as soon the powers of good realized that Glory was after the Key, they had been hiding it again and again. Then one of the monks found this spell and decided to cast it. The spell gave the Key a human form, and they sent it to Buffy to protect just in case anything should happen. Which is sort of a mute point considering that once the Key was put in human form, it became the strongest being that there has ever been, or will ever be.   
  
"Now that Dawn knows this, and knows that there is someone wishing her harm, I doubt that she will be quite so gentle as she was with Buffy."  
  
"Giles, I broke a few bricks with my back. I don't really file that in 'Dawn was careful category'. It hurt. It hurt a lot."  
  
"Yes, but Buffy, Dawn wasn't trying to hurt you. To her, it was as if she was...Xander, trying to push around Angel."  
  
"Wow, thanks Giles! You really know how to make a guy feel like a man." Xander said sarcastically.  
  
"Yes, well, regardless of Dawn's ability to protect herself, she still is a little girl. I think it would be best if we started looking for her." Giles said  
  
"Or we could save ourselves the trouble and send Xander out looking for her. He can just go up and down streets yelling her name."  
  
"Thanks Cordelia, offer me for the job, really nice. Is it pick on Xander day or something?"  
  
"Don't be an idiot, Xander. I'm just saying that the girl has a major crush on you. I've been her for less than a week and I've already figured it out."  
  
"Guys, will somebody tell her highness that she missed her pedestal by about a hundred yards!"  
  
"Actually, Xander, she's right. Dawn has it bad for you. I thought you knew. How could you not? It's so obvious!"  
  
"Willow? What are you talking about? Does she really?"  
  
"Wait, you'll listen to Willow but not me? What is it with you!?"  
  
"Xander. Really, it's totally obvious. My sister moons over you every time you come around. Why do you think I always send her to your apartment when I need some time alone?"  
  
"Are you guys serious? I had no idea! It's pretty cool, though. How old did you say she was again?"  
  
"Oh, Xander, that's just sick!"  
  
"I was kidding! God, can't anybody take a joke?"  
  
"Not when it's that gross! She's my sister! Ewwww!"  
  
"Children, enough is enough. We need to find Dawn and get her back here. There are still plans to make. I don't want an apocalypse sneaking up on us."  
  
"That was just a weird statement, Giles."  
  
"Well, it is possible. Anyway, I think that it would be best for us to focus on first finding Dawn, then researching this prophecy a bit more. Just in case."  
  
"But you said that the big important part was for me to remember and for Dawn to not get caught by Glory or any one else. So, doesn't that mean that the prophecy can't take place"  
  
"Buffy, you misunderstand. The prophecy says that with your memory gone and Dawn dead, then there is NO way for the world to continue. It didn't say that the danger was over. Demons may very well still open Hell."  
  
"And I don't think stabbing Angel the friendly vamp is going to cut it this time."  
  
"Xander!" Willow gave him a very mean un-Willow like glare.  
  
"Xander, that was a bit uncalled for." Giles said  
  
"I thought it was rather good!"  
  
"See! Spike thought it was funny!"  
  
"It's Spike, though." Willow said.   
  
Spike gave her a mock hurt expression "That wasn't very nice Red."  
  
"That's enough. Back to the subject at hand. Buffy, Angel, Cordelia and Xander...you go look for Dawn. Willow, Spike and I are going to research information that might help us determine who will raise hell and when."  
  
Xander started laughing before Giles finished. "Giles! You just said 'raise hell'! I don't know why I think that's so funny, but it is!" Cordelia and Buffy pulled a still laughing Xander out the door, before he crossed the threshold, however, I put his thumb, first, and pinky finger in the air, keeping the others tucked under. "Raise hell, Giles!" And fell into another fit of laughter.  
  
"That boy has serious psychological problems. I'm absolutely sure of it."  
  
"Yeah Giles" Willow said, "but I think we've all known that for a while.  
  
  
End part five  
  
  
  



	7. Life Lessons

Life lessons Part 6  
I'm not Joss, I'm not Mutant Enemy or the WB, therefore, it's safe to assume none of these characters belong to me.  
  
  
Buffy, Angel, Cordy and Xander walked into the streets, trying to decide where to start looking for Dawn first. "Maybe we should check your house first, Buffy." Cordelia said.  
  
"No. She wouldn't want to go there. She must be really upset, and I don't think that she would want to upset my mother right now."  
  
"Where else could she go, though. What kind of stuff does Dawn like to do?"  
  
"I don't know, Angel. We've never really talked about what she likes to do. I know she likes to hang out with us, but that's about it. God, how pathetic is that! I have no idea what my sister likes to do."  
  
"It might be a good idea to check the local library, I know she likes to read. Or maybe the coffee shop, Dawn likes to write and she says that's a good atmosphere for her."  
  
"Xander, how do you know where my sister likes to go?"  
  
"Well, I did sort of ask her what types of things she likes to do, and then I asked her where she went to do these things. That just sort of started a whole conversation on the subject. Dawn tends to talk about herself when someone seems interested. Imagine that."  
  
"Xander, I really don't need you to make me feel worse than I do already!"  
  
"Sorry Buff."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Okay, Xander and I will check the coffee shop. Angel, you and Cordelia go check the library. We'll meet back here in half and hour." The two groups walked off in different directions.  
  
Xander and Buffy reached the coffee shop about ten minutes later. "Well, I see her in there. Let's go on inside."  
  
"Xander, wait! Do you here that?"  
  
"No, what does it sound like?"  
  
"I'm not sure. Go in there and sit with Dawn until I come back."  
  
Buffy ran out into the darkness, following a sound only she could hear. Xander moved into the coffee shop and sat down across from Dawn at one of the tables.  
"Hey Dawn, why'd you run off so quickly?"  
  
"Xander. What's wrong with me? In the hospital, all of the patients were telling me that I was different, and asking me what I was. Buffy said that they were just really sick people, but they were right. I'm a freak!"  
  
Xander knelt down beside Dawn, stroking her hair. "Dawn, you're not a freak. Do you think Buffy's a freak?"  
  
"Yeah" Dawn said a little to vehemently, making Xander chuckle. "Alright, I'll grant you that Buffy is a little freakish sometimes, but do you honestly believe that what you are is bad?"  
  
"I don't know! I thought it would be so cool to be as strong as Buffy was, to be able to patrol with her. But now I just want to be me again."  
  
"You are still you. Buffy still thinks of you as her sister. She loves you and she does everything within her power to keep you safe. She worries about you so much."  
  
"Yeah, so I say 'thanks' by throwing her into a wall..."  
  
"Well yeah, but it's not bad. She wasn't even hurt, because you didn't mean to hurt her."  
  
"I didn't" She asked, Xander shook his head.  
  
"Do you think she's mad at me?"  
  
"I think that she was worried when you ran off, and that she made it over here in record time."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"She heard someone that might have been in trouble, so she went to check it out."  
  
"Xander, if I really am so special, then how do I use all the strength that I have? Giles told Buffy that he needed all the help he could get, but I don't even know what I can do."  
  
"Then I'll help you. We all will. Buffy will teach you how to throw punches, Giles will teach you how to keep track of a bunch of demons that are surrounding you. Willow, Anya and Tara will teach you some spells. Angel and Spike will teach you how to sneak up on people, they're really good at that. Cordelia will teach you how to file your nails..." Dawn chuckled and punched Xander playfully in the arm.   
  
"What will you teach me, Xander?"  
  
A sad look came over Xander's face. "I'll teach you how to order a pizza."  
  
"Xander, don't do that. You know you are more important than that."  
  
"Not to disillusion you too much Dawn, but that's pretty much all I'm good for."  
  
"That's not true. Cordelia and Giles were talking about weapons and stuff like that the other day, and Giles mentioned something about a crossbow, and Cordelia said that in high school, you were the best of everybody with a crossbow. Then she asked if you had gotten any better. Then Giles said, and I quote, that you have become 'quite remarkable'. See! You can teach me how to do that."  
  
"The really said all that, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Hey...guys..."  
  
"Buffy, are you all right? You look kind of..."  
  
"Dirty" Dawn put in.   
  
"Thanks...I just ran... into the oddest... demon... that I have ever... seen!"  
  
"Well catch your breath, then we'll go get Cordy and Angel and find out if Giles has anything on our new little, about to be sliced and diced, friend."  
  
"Okay. Better. Dawn, if you ever run off..." Behind Dawn, Xander was making with the 'cut it out' signals. Not satisfied by being deterred from grilling Dawn, Buffy conceded and said, "and we're going to talk about this later."  
  
The three of them left the coffee shop to meet up with Angel and Cordelia.  
  
Meanwhile, back at Giles', the rest of them were looking through books, scanning the pages. "Giles! There might be something to this one. It's called an Aeirhgytid Demon. It doesn't really exist by itself, it's called by some great and NOT listed demon. It has one purpose, and that it to seek out all other demons. Another translation of it is the Summoning demon, but it is really vague after that."  
  
"Red, may I ask just what that has to do with our little apocalypse?"  
  
"Well, we've already decided that Glory is a much older demon. This demon is raised by a demon that isn't named. It could be a link."  
  
"Does the bloody book tell you why it's called a 'summoning demon'?"  
  
"Well, no, but...Giles! A little help here!"  
  
"Willow, what does it say after the second name is translated?"  
  
"Uh, not much really. Blah, blah, blah...What?"  
  
"Blah, blah, blah?"  
  
"Oh, sorry, dirty habit from Xander. Anyway it says that the summoning demon is a last resort, an end to the beginning. See, vague."  
  
"Actually, Willow, it isn't vague at all. It is the demon that is summoned to tell all the other demons that it is time for the end. 'The End' like the name of the prophecy."  
  
"So what you're saying, is when this ugly, bloody, demon comes sniffing around, it becomes apocalypse time?"  
  
"Uh, basically, yes".  
  
Just then, Angel, Xander, Buffy, Cordelia and Dawn came through the door.  
  
"Giles, I just fought a new demon, at least he's new to me. Ugly bastard. Slippery, too. Not in the slime sense or the fish sense, but in the Wile E. Coyote sort of way."  
  
"Thank you for that riveting description, Buffy. That was truly helpful."  
  
"What's your problem Giles? Run out of Earl Gray?"  
  
"No, we just found a demon that seems to summon the very apocalypse that we are trying to avoid. I'm a little put out right now."  
  
"Sorry! Gee, a girl can't even have fun with her watcher anymore. What's the world coming to?" Buffy collapsed down in one of the cushy, high back chairs. The kind that had the rollers on the bottom. She started to spin herself around and around. She started going faster and faster.  
  
"Buffy! Please quite doing that!" Buffy jumped in her seat at the sound of Giles' raised voice, and in doing so, knocked off a book that was lying on the desk. Buffy leaned over to pick it up, and notices the picture of the demon.   
  
"Hey Giles, this is the demon I saw." She took the book over to Giles. He looked at the picture, then looked at her, and back down to the picture. "Oh dear. Buffy, this is the Aeirhgytid demon. This is the demon that summons the apocalypse."  
  
"Oh. So I guess I should go after it?"  
  
"No point now, Slayer. He's probably summoned a few demons already. You already missed the chance at stopping the apocalypse before it began. Better luck next time, eh?"  
  
"So. I guess this means that I'll be taking you up on your offer sooner than later, huh Xander?"  
  
Everyone turned to look Xander. "What? You need more hands, Giles. From what I've seen, our Dawn here has a couple of pretty strong ones. We might want to think about teaching her how to use them."  
  
Everyone looked anxious, except for Dawn, who looked extremely pleased.  
  
  
End part six  
  



	8. Life Lessons

The BtVS and Angel characters don't belong to me...at all.  
Life Lessons (7/?)  
A/N:   
All right, if there is a part of this story which seems totally out of character for me to write, fear not. It's all part of the master plan.  
  
  
  
Buffy and Dawn walked up to their front door completely exhausted. Buffy had even asked Spike and Angel to do the patrolling. Training hadn't taken this much out of Buffy since, well, she had NEVER felt this tired.   
  
"Girls?" Joyce questioned the front door opened.  
  
"Yes" the girls said in unison, not stopping to chat, but slowly making their way upstairs.  
  
"Are you two hungry? I ordered pizza and there is enough left over to eat."  
  
"Mom, unless you can feed it to me while I'm sleeping, I'm going to have to pass." Buffy said tiredly.  
  
"Same for me." Dawn said  
  
"Oh, Dawn, Xander wanted to know if you'd be up for practice tonight. Should I call him and tell him you're too tired?"  
  
"He called here! Did he say 'Is Dawn there' or was it like 'Is Buffy or Dawn there'? How did he say it mom?!"  
  
"Uh, I don't really remember. I didn't think it was important."  
  
"Mom! Ugh!"  
  
"Just call him back, Dawn." Buffy said, irritated  
  
"Me? Do you think that'd be weird?"  
  
"Dawn, he called you, just call and tell him that you're too tired to practice tonight!" Buffy then slammed her door and fell on her bed.  
  
Still on the stairs, Dawn was still thinking of a 'cool' way to call Xander. She heard a telephone ring, but was too busy thinking to pay attention.  
  
"Dawn, honey, Xander's on the phone again!" Joyce called to her.  
  
Dawn flew down the steps and raced to the phone, nearly jerking it out of her mother's hand. "Hello!" Dawn said quickly, then paused and said, "I mean, hello". She gave her self a mental pat on the back for how quickly she saved herself.  
  
On the other end of the phone, Xander silently chuckled. Now that he knew what to look for, the whole crush thing was kind of funny. "Hey Dawn. I was just calling to see if you were up to practicing tonight, but your mother told me that you and Buffy were really wiped out."  
  
"No! I mean, I'm not tired at all. Where and when?"  
  
"Well, if you're sure you don't need the sleep, meet me in fifteen minutes at the park."  
  
"Sure! I'll be there."  
  
"Alright, I'll see you then. Bye Dawn."  
  
"Bye Xander."  
  
Dawn hung up the phone and ran up the stairs to change clothes. "Mom!" She yelled, "I'm going to need to eat something after all!" She quickly donned something that she thought would look cute, but not like she TRIED to look cute. Satisfied with her appearance, she skipped down the steps and into the kitchen.  
  
Buffy walked slowly towards bed and fell down on it. She was asleep before she fell. She did not notice someone taking off her shoes and socks. The dark shadow then lay her straight in the bed and pulled the covers over here. Angel looked at her for a moment longer, then silently left her bedroom the same way he had entered. He left the window open behind him.  
  
  
As Angel started across Buffy's yard, on his way back to the cemetery. He sensed the presence of another vampire. Going into his 'game face' he stared in the direction of the other vamp. A small light lit up a partial view of the others face, but disappeared quickly. It was enough for Angel to see.  
  
"Spike. What the hell are you doing out here?" Angel demanded  
  
Spike took a slow drag from his cigarette. "The Slayer seems a little tired. Be a shame for something to happen to her in her sleep. Thought I'd be neighborly and watch out for her." He took another drag.  
  
"You do this a lot?"  
  
"Yeah, not so much when soldier boy was around, but you never know when something might happen."  
  
"Well, I don't think anything's going to happen. Do you want to finish patrolling now?"  
  
"Actually, I think I'll just hang out here for another minute or so."  
  
"Suite yourself" Angel turned to go, shaking his head at what had become of William the Bloody.   
  
"By the way, Peaches, when do plan on returning to the City of Angels?"  
  
"As soon as this prophecy comes about."  
  
"So your gonna let the Slayer take care of the Big Bad, be her safety net, should something go wrong, then waltz away?"  
  
"Spike, I have things to do in LA"  
  
"Yeah, like run away from Buffy!"  
  
Angel was momentarily shocked. He didn't think that Spike ever called Buffy by her name. "I'm not running. It has to be this way. She knows that. She understands that."  
  
"And if she knows that and she understands that, then why did she fall for Captain Oblivious?"  
  
"I don't know Spike! I don't know why she ever got involved with that spineless idiot! I don't have a clue as to what she saw in him" Angel finished angrily  
  
"Well, maybe I can help you figure it out. You were her tall, dark and depressing hero. You told her that you loved her and then walked away, and from what Anya tells me, you didn't even look back. Oh, and I almost forgot...you told her she needed to get on with her life. Then there was a man who was unbelievably a bigger poof than you are. He was normal, if only in the sense that he could get a tan rather than combusting. He didn't have half the strength Buffy does, and after a while, it didn't bother him. He looked at her as if she hung the moon. Told her he loved her. She didn't even have to say it back. It might have upset him, but he loved her enough to still be with her.   
  
"I don't think he would have left her if she asked him to. I think he would have fought her until she gave up. Now I wonder why that would have appealed to her? What would she possibly like about a relationship in which she called all the shots? She told him to leave and he left, she told him to stay and he stayed. Why would she possibly want to wear the pants in a relationship, when her last relationship was so far beyond her control?"  
  
"I'm leaving" Angel turned to walk away.  
  
"Why wouldn't you?" Spike asked, lazily leaning back on a tree "It is what you do best". Even as Spike voiced another barb, Angel continued to walk away.  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy woke up sometime around three in the morning. Feeling extremely thirsty, she went down stairs to get a drink of water. Momentarily blinded from the light in the kitchen, Buffy was surprised to here a voice.  
  
"Would you please turn off that bloody light?"  
  
"Spike? What are you doing in my kitchen?"  
  
"Until your name is on the deed, it's your mother's kitchen. She invited me in for some hot chocolate."  
  
"Okay, but it's three in the morning. What are you still doing here?"  
  
"Thinking. I didn't feel like going home tonight and Peaches is out patrolling."  
  
"Did you or my mom put me into bed?"  
  
"Actually, Angelus did that."  
  
"Angel" Buffy said sharply, but she had a smile on her face  
  
"Could you do me a favor and wipe that look off your face? You know, Slayer, he's always going to leave you. And he'll never look back. He'll think what he is doing is too noble. He wouldn't want to ruin the effect by looking back."  
  
"Shut up, Spike. He's staying for good this time. He told me so."  
  
"Did he really?" Spike asked in more of a patronizing tone than he expected  
  
Buffy thought about this for another minute. Her head popped up and she looked at Spike with tears in her eyes. "Where is he?"  
  
"Where do you think he is, pet?" Spike replied. Buffy looked at him for a minute more before running out of the house.  
  
She walked with a purpose towards Spike's crypt. There wasn't enough vampire activity to still be patrolling. She threw open the doors and saw Angel sitting on Spike's couch, staring at the wall. Angel didn't even look up when Buffy stormed in and stood in front of him.  
  
"And how is Spike?" Angel asked without emotion.  
  
"Not quite as misleading as you are. In fact, he's quite blunt. Are you leaving? After all this is said and done, are you leaving?" Buffy demanded, her voice rising with every word.  
  
"Yes" Angel said so quietly she almost didn't here it. "Nothing has changed," he said a bit more loudly. "We still can't be together. I still won't know what it's like to be inside of you again, to wake up with you in my arms. I still have to fight EVERYDAY for my redemption! I don't even deserve it!"  
  
"You're right. You don't deserve it. Nobody deserves anything that they don't believe they have a right to have."  
  
"That is so easy for you to say! You haven't done anything wrong! You never do! You will never know what it is like to KNOW that you don't deserve to be happy!"  
  
"You know that's not true! You said yourself that I'm selfish, and I AM selfish! You always give people a second chance. I couldn't forgive Faith, and she knew that! She still came to me, though. She still came to me in the hospital, told me that everything was going to be all right. She told me that I was going to be just fine, and she was glad that I didn't die. She told me that the world still needed me. I still can't even give her the benefit of the doubt. I still haven't gone to see her in prison. I still haven't thanked her for being my friend. You think that I'm not sorry for that? I want to tell her how sorry I am that I gave up in her. I give up on everybody."  
  
Buffy paused, she looked up at Angel with tears still in her eyes. "I give up on everybody but the one person that gave up on me a long time ago." Buffy kissed Angel on his cheek and walked out of the crypt.  
  
Angel didn't know where they stood with each other right now. He sat on the couch, and then, two thoughts hit him at once. Buffy just walked away from him. Buffy didn't look back.   
  
  
  
  
Buffy walked home. She walked into her house, past the kitchen, just giving a "Goodnight, Spike" to the vampire still sitting at her kitchen table. She walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. Buffy let out a long sigh. She didn't need to cry. She always cried for the things that she had lost, and she lost Angel a long time ago. She finally understood. Love isn't enough. It wasn't enough that she loved him. It wasn't enough that she forgave him for all the horrible things he had done as Angelus. It wasn't enough because Angel would never forgive himself. Buffy finally got a glimpse of how Angel saw the relationship. It wasn't hopeless to him because of a curse. It was hopeless to him because he didn't think he deserved her. He never would.   
  
Buffy lay in her bed. She wouldn't cry. She had done that already. Her mind began to wander. She was no longer in her bedroom, or her house, or the earth. She no longer existed. Her mind went on a journey that wouldn't even take her with it. She was no longer aware of anything at all.  
  
Outside of her bedroom, Spike listened as tears ripped through Buffy's throat. It sounded bloody painful. It sounded as if every tear she had ever shed, and every tear that she had ever withheld, came out at once. Each one fighting to be heard. The noise echoed in the vampire's ears, and Spike finally held his hands up, trying to keep the noise out. The tears didn't stop coming.   
  
Spike lowered his hands, recognizing the futility of his actions, and covered his face. The tears finally subsided into racking gulps of air, but as soon as there was breath in Buffy's body, the wailing continued.  
  
Spike lowered his hands from his face and saw the blood there. He wiped an eye with one finger and saw the blood on it. He hadn't realized that he was crying. Spike slowly lowered himself on the ground, throwing his head back, resting it on Buffy's bedroom door. As Buffy's tears lasted through the night, so did Spikes.   
  
  
  
  
Buffy woke up the next morning, feeling more refreshed than she ever had. She didn't remember falling asleep, or waking up. She was just there, sitting on the edge of her bed. Shrugging, Buffy went to take a shower and get ready for the day. She opened her bedroom door, but jump back in surprise as something fell in her way.  
  
Spike, who had fallen asleep against Buffy's door, hit the floor of her bedroom. Groaning, he sat up. "Bloody hell!" Then noticing where he was, he jumped up, "What the hell am I..." then he stopped. The memories from the night before rushed into his mind.  
  
"...Doing here?" Buffy finished his question. "I'm not sure, but I'd like to know, too."  
  
Getting a good look at him, Buffy finally noticed the blood crusting on his face. "Spike? What happened? Did you get hurt? Did something happen?"  
  
"Don't get your panties in a twist. It happens sometimes. No big deal."  
  
"But your face is all bloody."  
  
"Yes, and like I said, no big deal!"  
  
"Fine! I don't care anyway!" Buffy stopped and looked at Spike "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here."  
  
"Thanks Pet. I've got to be heading back anyway. Get some more sleep. You kept me up half the night with that bloody crying."  
  
"I don't remember crying last night..."  
  
"Well you did. A lot."  
  
"Spike, it's sunny outside. You might want to wait it out."  
  
"I've got a pretty good blanket in the basement." Spike turned to leave.   
  
"Spike, why do you have a blanket in my basement?"  
  
"Just in case, pet" Spike said with a smirk and left the room.  
  
Thoroughly confused, Buffy went about getting ready for the day. Today she and Dawn had to train a little bit more. Dawn was picking up on things really well. Buffy was even considering letting her join the patrol tonight.  
  
Buffy headed for the shower when the front door opened. "Mom? Dawn? Buffy called from the top of the stairs.  
  
"It's me!" Dawn said  
  
Buffy went down the stairs and looked at Dawn. "Where did you go this morning?"  
  
"Here. Xander and I spent so much time practicing last night that he thought it would be best if I spent the night at his apartment."  
  
Buffy noticed that Dawn was practically walking on air. "What exactly happened last night?" Buffy asked a little more roughly than she meant to.  
  
"Well, Xander and I practiced for a while, then he said that I was a natural with the crossbow, then it got to be really late and he took me back to his apartment and we ate lots of junk food. Then we went to bed."  
  
"TOGETHER?"  
  
"No." She said, looking at Buffy as if she just grew antlers. "Anya went to bed with him. But- and this is a very big but, they didn't have sex! Isn't that great?"  
  
Buffy shook her head at her sister. "It is possible to have quiet sex."  
  
"Really? Hmmm. Do you think they did that?"  
  
"Knowing Anya, there's a really good chance that's exactly what happened."  
  
"Oh" Dawn said, looking a little bummed. Buffy had a great deal of experience in the crush department, so she felt bad for Dawn.  
  
"Hey, I'd really like to see the way you shoot. If Xander says your good, then you must be REALLY good."  
  
"Really! You want to see me shoot?" Dawn said perking up.   
  
"Yeah, lets get some breakfast then head on out."  
  
Buffy put an arm around her sister, and led her to the kitchen. Buffy was set on the idea of getting ready for the battle, and not thinking of Angel unless it was absolutely necessary. With that mentality, she started her day with renewed focus.  
  
If Giles was right, she wouldn't have much time until whatever unimaginable dark force would once again reek havoc on her life. She intended to be as prepared for it as possible.  
  
End part seven...Now please review, I'd really like it if you did!   
  
  
  



	9. Life lessons

  
The characters of BtVS and Angel don't belong to me. Don't sue.  
  
  
Life Lessons Part Eight  
  
  
"Giles? Are you here?" Buffy called into the Magic Box. All the lights were off, but Giles had asked her to come by before she and Dawn went patrolling. She saw a light glowing in the back of the store, where the training room was. She quietly made her way back.   
  
Buffy stood in the doorway, watching Giles attack the punching bag as if it were threatening his life. Giles didn't even notice her come into the room, until she came over and held the bag for its support. Giles stopped hitting and looked at his slayer.  
  
"Giles, what's wrong? I've never seen you like this before. Did something happen?"  
  
"Buffy..." At this moment, Giles looked so much older than his years. He looked at Buffy with sad eyes. "I am so sorry. I knew what happened to slayers. I knew that the life expectancy was horribly short. I thought my biggest challenge was going to be to keep you alive from the demons that you would face every day. I now know how naïve I was."  
  
"Giles, if this is about the whole 'we're going to kill the slayer- so be it' crap that the Council is going on about, you can forget about it. If I can fight the demons that I do on a day to day basis, then I can certainly handle a couple of the Council's-"  
  
"They went after Faith." Giles cut in  
  
"What?"  
  
"They knew she wouldn't be available for her eighteenth birthday test next week. They decided to start their party a little early."  
  
"Is she okay? Did they kill her?"  
  
"No. She survived. She knew that they would come for her. When she first turned herself in, Wesley told her about the test. She didn't know that they were going to do anything to her before her birthday, but she was prepared none the less."  
  
"Well then, I'll be okay. She was in prison and didn't know that they were coming for her. I'm out here and I know. If she's okay, then I will be too."  
  
"I said she survived. I did not say she was okay. And the only reason that she survived is pure luck! Are you willing to risk your safety on the chance that you might get lucky!" Giles was so scared and so angry that he could no longer control his voice.   
  
"How bad is she?"  
  
"She will be in the infirmary for a couple of weeks. I've heard that she is healing quickly, though. One of the guards that she has become somewhat friends with put herself on a twenty-four hour watch until Faith recovers."  
  
"What did they do to her?"  
  
" Her guard friend was just going to check on her one more time before she went home. It was already lights out and the guard saw four men sticking rods through her cell bars. She was trapped in the cellblock so it was fairly simple to get at her. Not a lot of room for a girl to get away from electric prodding. They haven't really told us how bad the damage really is, just that they were surprised that she pulled through.   
  
"The guard's unexpected arrival kept the men from finishing off the job. Faith was on the floor, unconscious. That was when the guard took her to the infirmary."  
  
Buffy took a minute to digest the information. "Giles. I'll be okay. I've got a watcher, two vampires, two witches, an ex-vengeance demon, a vision girl, one hell of a crossbow shooter, and the Key. None of you have ever let me down before. I trust all of you with my life. The way all of you trust me with yours. It's all going to be okay."  
  
"You don't understand! Are you willing to put people at risk? People will die if they try to protect you! There is a reason you have lasted so long, and don't think that the Council doesn't know what it is! You are strong because you always have someone watching your back. Those are the people the Council will go for first.  
  
"Buffy, you are my slayer. I love you so much, as if you were my own daughter. It would kill me if something were to happen to you. And it will kill you when the friends that are trying to protect you get killed for helping you."  
  
"So what am I supposed to do Giles? Tell me what I should do!"  
  
"After the battle, I need you to leave. I need you to get as far away as possible. Change your name, your looks and your life. Live as someone else. Cut off all contact to those who you wish to protect."  
  
"I can't do that Giles! I need all of you! I can't turn my back and walk away. What about the Hellmouth? Who is going to protect this God forsaken place?"  
  
"I will deal with that myself. I don't know if I could go on if you die, Buffy. I am giving you the chance to live out the rest of your life."  
  
"My friends are my life!"  
  
"If you stay, you won't have any friends left to live for! Do not be selfish about this!"  
  
"I'm not being selfish! We can protect each other!"  
  
"Here are your choices, Buffy: You stay here and go insane as one by one your friends are murdered until there is no one else to protect you and the Council finally kills you or... you leave. You will never be able to contact us again, but both parties will be alive."  
  
"I don't like you god damned choices, Giles! I'm not going to choose either one! There is another way, there always is!" With that, Buffy ran from the Magic Box.  
  
She didn't know where she was going. Her tears blinded her. Finally she stopped running. She fell to the grass absolutely exhausted. Her entire body was shaking.  
  
Buffy lay there for a while, and eventually her tears subsided. She looked up at the stars. Her mind was reeling and she couldn't catch any of the thoughts going through her head. She just wanted the world to go away. For about the millionth time in her life, Buffy had no idea what to do.  
  
"Buffy? Buffy!" The shrieking voice that was calling her name got closer and closer. Dawn ran and slid down on the grass beside her sister. Tears where running down Dawn's face. "Buffy, are you okay?!"  
  
Slowly, Buffy turned her head towards her sister. They held each other's gaze for a moment, and then Buffy slowly turned her head back up to the stars.   
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Shh." was all that came from Buffy's lips.  
  
Dawn lay down on the grass next to her sister. She turned her body into Buffy's and wrapped one of her arms across Buffy's stomach. Dawn just held her for a minute, and then said so quietly, "You should go"  
  
Buffy closed her eyes, one more teardrop escaping. "You heard?"  
  
"Yeah, you two were pretty loud. You really should go. I know you Buffy. If even one of us died, you would feel responsible. You would never recover from it."  
  
"I know there is another way. There has to be."  
  
"Maybe not. Maybe the one element that has kept you alive all this time is the one element that will destroy you. Maybe no matter how badly you want a happy ending, the story still stays tragic.  
  
"Buffy, you deal with darkness and death on a day to day basis. You didn't sign up for this. It chose you. Your life isn't a walk in the park and everything is not going to turn up roses."  
  
"But I have always done what I was supposed to do! Sure I bitch and complain, but I get the job done. Why can't I have one reward? Just one little reward."  
  
"Maybe you have it right now. Maybe your reward is having so many people that love and care about you. Do you think any slayer before you had friends like you do?"  
  
Buffy sat up "Then why do I have to give any of you up? You can't just give a reward and take it away. It doesn't work like that."  
  
Dawn stood up. "Do you think I like the idea of losing you, of never seeing you again? You can't win this one Buffy. It's a lose- lose situation. I could feel how angry Giles was, Buffy. He doesn't want you to leave, in fact it will probably kill him, but you have to go. Giles would never send you away if he didn't think it was necessary."  
  
Buffy looked up at her sister. "How'd you get to be so smart?"  
  
"Look at all the influence I have."  
  
Buffy stood up and wrapped her arms around Dawn. They held on to each other tightly. "I love you" Buffy whispered. "I love you too" Dawn replied.  
  
  
  
  
"All right, everybody, please pay attention!" Giles was in full charge as the gang was about to go into battle. "We know where the demons are performing the ceremony, and we know of at least six different types of demons that will be there. Tara, Willow, and Anya, are you ready for the spell?"   
  
The three girls nodded. They decided that it would be best to recite the spell before hand, only leaving off the last word that would put it into action. After the signal was given to begin the spell, the girls would say the final word of the spell, in unison, and start the ceremony to close the gates of hell.   
  
"Remember, not a word until the spell is ready to be cast. Xander will signal the time to act by shooting the first arrow. The rest of us will charge in after that. I want everyone to be extremely cautious... I don't want to lose any of you."  
  
With his last words, Giles looked at Buffy. She held his look for a minute. Then she pushed down all of her emotions and went into 'Slayer Mode'. "All right. Let's go. The sooner we get this over with the better."   
  
With a glance to everyone in the room she turned and, with a determined walk, started for the abandoned church that tonight served as the portal between Hell and Earth.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a terrible battle. Everyone soon realized that all the preparation in the world wouldn't have been enough. There were two different kinds of demons that nobody had expected. In fact, nobody knew what type of demons they were. Xander dusted about three dozen vampires before he ran out of arrows. Finally, he had to join in with the others in hand to hand combat.   
  
Willow, Anya, and Tara put spells on the Acrypoltic and Greinge demons that rendered them defenseless, while Giles beheaded each one. Buffy was having trouble with the Aeirhgytid demon, but still hadn't broken a sweat. Angel and Spike were ruthlessly cutting off demon heads one by one. Giles had told everyone to go for the heads unless it was a vampire. With so many types of demons it was the best chance of destroying them.  
  
In the end, there was only one type of demon left. It was three demons that the group could not identify. Every time someone got a sword in between their head and neck, the demon would instantly regenerate. Buffy was totally focused on what she was doing. She didn't know if the gang was there with her or not. In her mind, it was she and the demon in front of her.  
  
Suddenly, the demon charged at Buffy. Buffy, waiting for it to make the first move, lunged at the demon at the same time. There was a sound of metal hitting metal. Then suddenly, there was a great noise and the room fell silent.  
  
Buffy lay silently on the ground. Blood was pooling on top of her shirt. She didn't make a move.   
  
"What...the hell...just happened?" Xander said, the pain he felt obvious in his voice.  
  
Everyone that wasn't hurt began to rise from the floor. Each looking around, surveying the damage. That was when it happened. The only noise that could be heard was the awesome screaming that ripped past someone's throat.   
  
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONO" were the only sounds that were being made. Xander rushed over to the form that was screaming kneeling down on the ground. Xander looked down at the two bodies lying on the floor. His face went pale and his heart dropped in his stomach.   
  
"Oh God! Oh God, please no!" were the only words that escaped his lips...  
  
End part Eight...  



	10. Life lessons

  
  
These characters aren't mine. Someday they will be, you know, when I take over the world!  
  
Life Lessons Part Nine  
  
Please read it and review it...I like reviews (the good ones anyway).  
  
Special thanks to Heidi...you're a cool girl!  
  
  
  
Xander stood in shock as he looked down at the two bodies. His world disappeared in an instant. Willow was on the ground still screaming as she sat on her knees in front of the bodies. She kept leaning over each one again and again, like she couldn't decide which one to mourn first.  
  
Finally, she wrapped her arms around the body of the young woman. Willow cradled the girl's head in her arms. The only visible part left of her mutilated head was her blond hair.  
  
Xander regained his mind and thoughts and went to Willow. He tried to hold her, but Willow remained glued to the girl. Xander moved to the next figure. He knelt down and placed his hand over the area of the heart. Silence. Xander stood up and walked out of the church.   
  
He was lost in his thoughts. He didn't hear Anya come stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Xander's thoughts kept on jumping to the two bodies that they on the floor of the church. He turned towards Anya and kissed her on the forehead. His mind kept skipping between the love he saw in her eyes, and the madness he had just seen in Willow's.   
  
He was still staring into her eyes when a tall shadow walked out of the church carrying a small figure in his arms. Angel walked straight passed Xander without a word or glance.   
  
"Angel! Where are you taking her?" Angel turned around, the figure in his arms was Buffy, the red stain on her shirt having expanded to a larger size. "I'm going to the hospital. She needs help."   
  
Xander let him go without saying another word. He couldn't blame Angel. If he were just a little less shocked, he would have done the same thing. Xander however, hadn't even checked to see how Buffy had faired. His mind kept going back to Giles and Tara, the lifeless bodies lying on the floor of the abandoned church.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The funeral was two days later. Closed casket ceremony because of the horrible shape of the victims. Everybody that had survived was there. At least in body if not in mind. Angel held on to Buffy as she sat in a chair at the front of the crowd. She had lost a lot of blood by the time that Angel could get her to a hospital, but the doctors had given her a transfusion and stated that she would be fine, after a couple of nights under hospital care.   
  
Buffy was anything but all right. She hadn't cried once since learning that Giles and Tara had both died in the fight. She sat in the front row, swallowed by a black dress that would have fit her a couple of days and fifteen pounds before, and stared at the coffin that held her beloved watcher.  
  
Willow was being comforted by Spike, though she had no idea at the time. Willow hadn't responded to anything or anyone since her breakdown at the church. Her glazed eyes stared at nothing in particular. He would every so often say something into her ear, and push her hair out of her face, but it was all lost to her.  
  
Xander had his arm around Anya's waist on one side, and he was gripping Cordelia's hand on the other side. He looked tired. Xander had made the arrangements for the funerals, and spent hours a day with Buffy and Willow, trying to get any response from either one of them.  
  
He looked up at the sky, the rain was washing down his face, and the full moon was illuminating the tracks that the droplets made. The ceremony was over, and the mourners began to leave. The Scoobies stayed around. No one moved and no one said anything to anyone else. The rain fell heavily on each person. No one had wanted to be covered by an umbrella.  
  
Xander, who had unwillingly become the strong one, began to lead Cordelia and Anya toward the waiting car. He then went back and motioned for Angel to take Buffy to the car as well. He nodded to Spike to follow the couple.  
  
When everybody had left, Xander knelt down next to Willow. "Hey Will" he started quietly "I know this is all really hard on you right now, but you can talk to me." Willow looked down at him, her expression void of any emotion, and then she looked back at where the two caskets lay.  
  
With a sigh of frustration, Xander jumped to his feet. He opened his mouth ready to unleash all the anger that had been building inside of him, but that's when he heard a branch break behind him. Xander whipped around only to see a short redhead hesitantly come forward.   
  
"Will?" At the sound of Oz's voice, Willow's head shot to where he was standing. In an instant, she had flung herself into his arms. As the rain poured over the city, Willow wept loudly as Oz stroked her hair. Xander wore a small smile as he made his way back to the car.  
________________________________________________________________________   
  
  
  
  
The next day, all of the Scoobies were at Giles' lawyer's office for the reading of the will. Willow still looked sick, but she was glued to Oz. Everyone looked up at the lawyer as he walked into the room, carrying a stack of papers with him.  
  
"Mr. Giles changed his will a number of times. Things were added and deleted on a number of occasions, therefore, he decided that Miss Buffy Summer's was to have the final say on anything not here disclosed."   
  
Buffy looked down at her hands that had begun to shake. She still hadn't cried for Giles. "Now, part of his estate, the house he resided in, will be auctioned off in order to pay for various bills and fees that Mr. Giles accumulated over the years.   
  
"Next would be the Magic Box. This has been left to Anya...I'm sorry, but there is no last name."  
  
"That's me." Anya said sort of shyly. She looked at Xander with tears in her eyes. "This means that he liked me, right? Giles really did like me, didn't he, Xander?"  
  
Xander nodded and kissed her forehead. Anya smiled brightly as tears of happiness rolled down her face.  
  
"Mr. Giles also seemed to have a number of books in his possession. Those he left to Miss Willow Rosenberg." The lawyer looked around the room for Willow.  
  
"I'm Willow" came the quiet voice.  
  
"Miss Rosenberg, Mr. Giles has numerous books in his home, as well as the UC Sunnydale library. There were also a number that were kept in the library at Sunnydale High, but I'm sure you're aware of that unfortunate circumstance." The group looked uneasily at each other, remembering graduation.  
  
"Then there are many others that are on loan to various libraries around the world. You have every option of claiming those books back, or continuing to keep them on loan. Mr. Giles does however receive a sizeable sum for his donations. Those checks would now come to you."  
  
Willow just looked dazed. Oz tightened his hold around her as her shoulders began to shake once more as she cried.  
  
"Yes...well...We can talk about your options when you're feeling more up to it." The lawyer said, not knowing what else to say. "Moving on, Mr. Giles kept quite a collection of antique weaponry. His collection, which is quite large if I do say so, shall be divided up between Mr. Alexander Harris and Mr. Spike.... I'm sorry, there's no last name here either."   
  
Both men looked terribly confused to be given such possessions, but for different reasons. "He left notes that might be able to help you understand, and from the looks on your faces, I think that they will come in handy."  
  
Xander and Spike took their respective notes and read the short statement written by Giles' hand. The looks of confusion left their faces, replaced by a certain amount of pride.  
  
"Mr. Giles came regularly to my office, and seeing his mode of transportation, I am most surprised by what was left to Miss Cordelia Chase."  
  
"Giles left me something?" Cordelia sounded really confused.  
  
"Yes, it has been in his possession for a while, however he has had it in storage since he first moved to Sunnydale. A Bentley VII. It is in a controlled climate garage in LA" The lawyer produced a large manila envelope and handed it to Cordelia. "Here is all the information you will need on the car; papers, directions to the garage, etc. Oh, and I believe he had a plate made for it also."  
  
Cordelia pulled out the license plate that proclaimed 'VSNGRL'. The note attached simply read, 'A classy car for a classy woman...I made sure there were aspirin in the glove compartment.'  
  
Cordelia read the note and smiled happily to everyone, right before she started crying. Angel went over to her and held her for a minute. The lawyer started to continue, and as soon as he said, "Miss Summers?" Cordelia straightened up and nodded at him. He smiled gratefully at her and went to provide comfort for Buffy.  
  
"That would be Dawn." The lawyer said. Dawn perked up at hearing her name. "That's me," she said.  
  
"Miss Summers, Mr. Giles left you a spell book. It is the only one that was not left to Miss Rosenberg. Mr. Giles said that this would be most beneficial to you."  
  
Dawn took the book, beaming with pride over the fact that Giles had thought of her.  
  
"Now, for the other Miss Summers, Mr. Giles left all other possessions to you. Various stocks and shares. Personal saving accounts, an estate in England, various antiques. I took it upon myself to catalog Mr. Giles' possessions. The final worth of all goods that is left to you, Miss Summers, is three point four million dollars. Then there is this box, the contents of which I have yet to see.  
  
  
Buffy was too stunned to reach for the box or the envelope that was handed to her. Angel took it from the lawyer with a small smile and handed it over to Buffy. Buffy held the box and stared down at it. She made no move to open it or the letter.  
  
The lawyer started once again, speaking to Angel. "I assume you are Liam Connelly. Or Angel. Both names are mentioned. Mr. Giles left you a letter. It is up to you to decide if you want the package that goes along with it." The lawyer looked at Angel expectantly.   
  
When Angel said nothing, the lawyer continued. "Mr. Giles was very cryptic with the will when it came to you, Mr. Connelly. If you read the letter and want the package, come back to my office and it's yours." Now the lawyer addressed the group. "But you young people have already gone through so much, so you can take your time and get back to me if you have any questions."  
  
The stunned group paused for a moment, then headed out one by one. Once on the sidewalk in front of the attorney's office, the group stood in silence. The only sound came from various night animals.  
  
"Should we go someplace and talk?" Cordelia asked hesitantly  
  
Feeling a little uneasy, Xander tried to lighten the mood with a joke, "Yeah, Cordy can drive and dinner is on Buffy." His joke just got blank stares.  
  
"Guys, I'm going to go home now. I want to be alone." Everyone turned to look at Buffy. That was the most she had said ever since she woke up at the hospital.  
  
"I'll walk you home." Angel said, and he steered her in the direction of her house.  
  
  
  
  
  
About ten minutes later, Angel walked into a diner and saw the group talking in one of the booths. He pulled a chair from another table and sat down at the head. Everyone had broken into groups talking about what they got, and what everyone else got and the fact that Giles was worth more than three million dollars.  
  
"Hey mate, what'd your little note say?" Spike asked of Xander  
  
"'Practice makes Perfect'. Yours?"  
  
"I got 'Only for good, never for evil'. What'd your note say, Peaches?"  
  
"I don't know Spike. I'll read it tomorrow, when Buffy's feeling more up to it."  
  
"Well Red snapped out of her mood, can't see why Buffy doesn't do the same. Course seeing that you're going to leave doesn't give her all that much to look forward to."  
  
Shut up, Spike! I've had it up to here from you!" Angel blew up at the other vampire.  
  
"Stop it! Both of you! We have all gone through a lot. Just give Buffy some time, okay!" The group stopped talking and stared at Cordelia. "Stop staring at me."  
  
Everyone went back to their conversations, but Spike and Angel just glared at each other.   
  
  
  
"Angel? Angel? Are you here?" Cordelia was in the crypt that Angel and Spike had been sharing lately.  
  
"Sorry Cor, but the big poof isn't here." Cordelia jumped and Spike lazily stepped out from a shadow.  
  
"God, Spike! You scared me! Where did Angel go?"  
  
"I'd check the Slayer's house. He likes to keep an eye out for her when it's convenient for him."  
  
"What put you in a mood? Somebody pee in your Count Chocula's?"  
  
"Check the slayer's house." Spike said once more and slipped back into the shadows.  
  
"Weird, Spike! You are very, very weird!" And she left for Buffy's house  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy came awake slowly. She stretched and opened her eyes. Angel was sitting in the chair in a corner, watching her sleep. She smiled at him, then the thoughts of the past few days came rushing to her mind.   
  
One minute, Buffy was smiling at him, and the next she was back in zombie mode. Angel was so frustrated. He went to the side of her bed and took her face in his hands.  
  
"Buffy, you can't do this to yourself anymore. Please baby, talk to me. Talk to anyone. Just let someone in. You're killing yourself."  
  
Buffy opened her mouth as if to say something, when Cordelia came rushing through the doorway. "Angel, we need to talk. Right Now!"  
  
"Cordelia, this really isn't a good time." Angel said a little tiredly  
  
"Gunn called, and he said that your 'girls' were tearing LA apart. Literally, limb from limb. We've got to back, tonight."   
  
Angel looked at Cordelia's concerned, determined face. "Alright, we'll leave as soon as we get our things together."  
  
"Already done. Say your goodbye and let's go." With that, Cordelia walked out of Buffy's room.  
  
Angel turned back to Buffy. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I have to go. I can't let them have a field day in LA when I know I can stop them."  
  
Buffy looked at him. Deep down she knew that he needed to go, but it still hurt. She opened her mouth to tell him that it was okay, but nothing came out. She could only nod her head. Angel kissed her mouth gently. Then he was gone.  
  
Buffy rolled over on her bed. She felt something take hold of her, something she couldn't explain. Subconsciously she knew she would feel better if she just cried. With a tired, haggard sigh, Buffy reached for the box and letter that Giles had left her. Her heart clinched as she read in her mind what words were written there. Once again, Buffy fell back into unconsciousness, depriving herself of tears once again.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Buffy's gone!" The gang had decided to have a little memorial service of their own for Giles and Tara, and they had waited while Dawn went upstairs to get Buffy.  
  
"What do you mean she's gone?"  
  
"No, Xander! She is gone. 'Gone' gone. Like, no Buffy, no clothing, no money, no nothing...Gone!"   
  
"It's okay, Dawn, calm down. She couldn't have gone too far. And we all know that she prefers the bus as her way out of town..."  
  
"Xander, this is no time for jokes! Buffy has been really upset lately. Maybe she and Angel went somewhere together?" Willow said hopefully  
  
"No chance of that, Red. Peaches and his Girl Friday took off for LA last night. I don't think she'd be following him there. Do you?"  
  
"Angel left her? Why would he do that?" Dawn did not believe what she was hearing.  
  
"Seems like Dru and Darla are causing quite a bit of noise in the big city."  
  
"So maybe she went to help..." Dawn said quietly  
  
"Well, let's call Angel and find out." Willow said with determination.  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, at the Sunnydale Airport:  
  
"Very good, Mrs. Black, you'll be flying non-stop to JFK. You're flight will leave out of gate A5. Enjoy your flight." The flight desk attendant said happily.  
  
"Thank you." The short woman with black hair said, "It will be good to get home." With as much of a smile as she could muster, Buffy turned and started for Concourse A.  
  
  
End part nine...  
  
  



	11. Life Lessons

Buffy and Co. don't belong to me...pity, isn't it?  
I'm facinated with character death. I'll try to leave some behind for Lessons Learned... Enjoy and please review  
  
  
Life Lessons Part Ten  
  
  
  
"Cordelia? It's Willow. I don't mean to bother you, but did Buffy by any chance come to LA with you and Angel? She didn't? Oh, okay. If she gets in touch with you will you please tell her to call me? Thanks Cordelia. Bye."  
  
  
Willow hung up the phone looking worse than when she called. "She's not there." She said quietly to the others.  
  
  
Spike thought about the problem at hand, and decided to get help of his own.  
  
  
Cordelia hung up the phone and stared at it a minute. "Angel! We've got problems in Sunnydale! Again!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy sat on the chairs in front of the boarding gate. Her huge sunglasses covered her eyes that were still red and puffy from crying. She didn't want to leave, but she knew that she had to. Giles had told her that everyone would be in danger if she stayed. He even told her that one of her friends might get killed.   
  
She never thought that she would lose Giles. Her throat burned with tears that she would not let escape. She sighed, but the sound came out haggard and tired. Buffy moved her black wig until it covered more of her face. She looked down at her hands as they rested in her lap.  
  
"Nice look, B. Really, I would have never thought that you would go for that shade. Shows how much I know, huh?" Faith sat down next to Buffy, seemingly unaware of the tension. "What does lover boy think about it? The dead one, not the commando...oh, wait... they're both dead now. I meant Angel."  
  
"What are you doing here, Faith?"  
  
"I got a present from Wesley. Apparently, as soon as the little boy scouts leave the troop, the Council gives them a little going away present. I got Wes' Rolls. Nice car. A little to classy for me, but I'm sure that I'll adjust."  
  
"How did you get out?" Buffy asked as soon as she figured out that Faith wasn't going anywhere.  
  
"I just left so I could get what Wes left for me and store it away. I'm going back." Faith said a little defensively.  
  
"How did you know I was here?"  
  
"Slayer senses. I can still feel you. After all this time, I still know when you're around. I just got a little Cheshire about why you were in the airport. So...where're going?" Faith asked in a playful voice, lightly hitting Buffy on the arm."  
  
Buffy just looked at Faith.  
  
"Come on, B! I'm not going to run off and tell Angel. I just want to know where you're going, incase something happens." Faith tried her best to look innocent.  
  
"All right Faith, just stop with the puppy dog eyes. It's really creeping me out." As soon as Faith got serious Buffy continued. "I don't know where I'm going. I just want to get out of this country. I want to get as far away from here as possible. Everyone just might have a longer life if I'm not around."  
  
"Who told you that bullshit?"  
  
"It isn't bullshit, Faith! Giles tried to warn me, and he ended up dead anyway!" Buffy started to cry again. Faith just looked at her, not knowing what to say or what to do.  
  
Not fully understanding what was going on, she asked a little cautiously "So...you're saying that it's Giles fault?"  
  
"No! Faith keep with it! It's my fault! I killed Giles!"  
  
"Oh, I see." There was a pause "You're wrong. You know that, right?"  
  
"I killed him, and now I'm trying to make it better. He said that more people that I love would die if I didn't leave. Faith, they're still after you, too! You've got to leave! You can come with me. We'll just go-"   
  
"-B, you've got to calm down. I know that the Council is after us, but I'm not going to leave. I'll stay in Sunnydale and watch after everybody."  
  
"You're life is danger too! I'm not the only one who should be getting out of here."  
  
"Yeah, but there's this guy-" Faith started with a grin  
  
"-Save it, Faith! Whoever he is he can't protect you." Now Buffy was pleading with her.  
  
"He's with the Council" Faith added quickly  
  
Buffy stopped. "You're with a guy from the council? Are you nuts! I mean, more than before?" Buffy voice was getting louder and higher.  
  
"Chill out, B. He was supposed to kill me, but he said he took one look in my 'beautiful' eyes and knew that he wouldn't be able to. He said that he would warn me when they try to kill me again. He's so sweet!" Faith finished, grinning like a schoolgirl.  
  
Buffy actually looked at Faith now. She noticed that Faith had a certain glow around her. She looked stronger and maybe a little taller. But her eyes were the most surreal thing. Her eyes looked so happy.  
  
The desk attendant started boarding the flight  
  
"I'm going to New York. From there, I don't know. I'll find some way to keep you updated. I've got to go now. And Faith, don't tell anywhere where I'm going. Promise?"  
  
"B, I promise I won't tell a soul." And she crossed a 'x' over her heart  
  
On impulse, Buffy leaned over and gave Faith a tight hug. "Be good Faith"  
  
With that, Buffy went to the gate and handed her boarding pass over. As she walked through the doorway, she gave Faith one last little wave. Then she was gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faith took her time walking back. She couldn't believe that Buffy had actually left. Faith looked up to find herself finally at the destination. She opened the doors of the crypt with enough force to make a really loud noise. A noise that really bothered the vampire inside.  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"I don't know if I should tell you. I promised her that I wouldn't tell a soul." Faith said with a slight smile.  
  
"Then I guess it's a bloody good thing that I don't have one." Spike stepped out of the shadows to look at the other slayer. "Now tell me where she went"  
  
"Well, since you asked me nicely, she's already on a plane for New York."  
  
"La Guardia or JFK?"  
  
"JFK"  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah, Spike. I'm sure. But I don't know where she's headed after that. She doesn't even know."  
  
"Thanks. I appreciate it."  
  
"No prob. Are you going to tell Angel?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well, I've got to go. I've got a date tonight."  
  
"With who?"  
  
"Some guy. Not important."  
  
"You're blushing. And you're heart started to beat faster. Just now."  
  
"Whatever. I'm out of here." Faith turned her back as a huge smile crossed her face. She almost started whistling as she left. Almost.  
  
Spike sat on the couch and waited for the sun to go down.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Willow sat on her bed in the dorm room. No body had heard from Buffy, and Angel never called back to check on things. She had decided to do a spell on her, to locate her, but it wasn't working. Willow fell back on her bed. She was supposed to meet everyone at Xander's to discuss what would happen next. Oz would be here anytime to pick her up.  
  
  
"Willow?"  
  
Willow sat straight up, eyes wide. "Angel?"  
  
"Hey, has she come back yet?"  
  
"No. And no one has heard from her. I can't even find her with a locator spell." Willow said dejectedly  
  
"Giles already performed a spell against locator spells, so that the Council wouldn't be able to find her."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Hey guys" Oz stood in the doorway.  
  
"Hey Oz" Angel said. Willow just went to him and hugged him. She didn't let go.  
  
"Are you feeling alright, Oz?" It was another full moon. Even though Oz returned to Sunnydale after successfully controlling the wolf in him, Angel still worried.  
  
Oz nodded and held on to Willow a little tighter  
  
"I didn't mean to interrupt. Are you two going somewhere?" Angel said uncomfortably  
  
"Oz and I are going over to Xander and Anya's to figure out what to do about Buffy."  
  
"I'd like to help if I can."  
  
"We could use all the help we can get" Willow said, and pushed Angel and Oz out the door.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike was standing outside Xander's apartment complex smoking when Angel, Willow and Oz showed up.  
  
"Hey Peaches. Beautiful night, isn't it. Care to waste another minute out here?" Though Spike's voice was lazy, Angel saw something serious in his eyes.  
  
"Sure Spike. I've got all the time in the world."  
  
"Thought you might..."  
  
After Willow and Oz went inside, Angel turned to his grandchilde.  
  
"Tell me what's going on, Spike. I know that look."  
  
"Well aren't you the smartest bulb in the flower patch."  
  
"Get to the point Spike."  
  
"I know where she is."  
  
Before Spike knew what happened, Angel had him against the side of the building, by his neck. Angel's game face was in full effect. "What did you do to her?"  
  
"Not a bloody thing! She went on her own, I'll have you know! I just got someone to tell me where."  
  
Angel calmed down considerably. "Where?"  
  
"She was on her way to New York today. I don't know where she's going after that. Thought you might want to know. Do something about it, maybe."  
  
Angel leaned back into the wall. A long and unneeded sigh took all the breath from his body. He suddenly looked very old to Spike.  
  
"Go after her Angel. You can find her, if you try hard enough."  
  
"No. She left for a reason. I don't know what that reason was, but she didn't even say goodbye."  
  
Spike wanted badly to hit something. "Didn't you leave her without saying goodbye a couple of times? If I recall correctly, you've become very good at it. Now why don't you just grow a brain and get her back!"  
  
"It's more complicated than that. She left and I don't think she would have left without saying anything to anybody, unless she wanted to go."  
  
"You are a bloody poof! You have to be the single biggest idiot on the face of the earth! You have the Slayer for your taking. You always walk away from her because it's the best thing for her. She walks away from you and you think that it's the best thing for her. Take some bloody initiative and get what you want."  
  
"I don't deserve her." Angel said in a pathetic voice  
  
"No. You don't. At any other time, I would have said that you did. I would have even gone as far as saying that she didn't deserve you. But I can't say that anymore. If B- the Slayer even looked at me once the way she looks at you...let's just say that there is not a man or beast in this world that would keep me from her."  
  
"I'm sorry Spike. But I can't go after her. Maybe she needs some time alone. If she still wants me when it's said and done, she'll come back."  
  
"Like you came back for her?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"I'm sorry then, that you lost her."  
  
"What are you talking about Spike?"  
  
"You might as well go back to LA and forget about her. She won't be coming back to you. You never came back to her either. Maybe she realized that."  
  
"I always came back for her. Whenever she needed me, I was there. And she knows that if she needs help, she can come to me!" Angel was really starting to get pissed off.  
  
"And you'll always leave her. Why?"  
  
"Because every time that I'm around her, I want to be with her. Really be with her. It's better for both of us this way."  
  
"If that keeps your conscious clean, then good for you. But you are being extremely selfish."  
  
"Selfish!? That is the last thing that I am when it comes to Buffy!"  
  
"You just said that it was easier for you to be away from her. What about how hard it is for her to be away from you. You know about the idiots that she takes up with. If Parker had given her the time of day, again, then he would have been the one she threw in your face. It doesn't matter who the role goes to as long as she has a leading man. Not that it will ever be you again. You won't let it be. You think the Slayer, VAMPIRE slayer should have a 'normal' life."  
  
"I've heard enough." Angel said tiredly  
  
"I hope it is enough. Oh, Angel. Try leading a normal life from now on. Eat a couple of stakes. Drink wine, no blood of course. Take a walk one Sunday afternoon. See how well you like 'normal'".  
  
Angel took a long look at Spike. "Bye Spike. If she needs me, she knows where to find me." With that, Angel walked away until his form was consumed by the shadows.  
  
Spike shook his head. He took one more drag off his cigarette, and headed in the opposite direction. He knew that Buffy would need someone eventually, and he fully intended to be there for her when she did. If he happened to get lucky while he was at it...well, that was just an extra bonus.  
  
Faith stood in one of the shadows against Xander's building. She hoped that either vampire would just get with it and go get Buffy. She didn't like being the one having to patrol every night. Regardless, her date just dropped him off, and she was feeling very giving. She smiled as she made her way up to Xander's apartment.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Glory was crying. There was no consoling her. But he tried anyway. He knew that his sister wasn't going to be around much longer. After everything that Glory had done, he still loved her. His spell hadn't exactly worked, and he had felt immeasurable guilt when he realized that the demon he created had gone after Buffy's mom. But nothing was compared to this. He was resolved. He would stick by his sister until the end, but he would not help her on the quest for the key. She would not have the power to keep the pain away.  
  
The headaches that had taken over Glory's brain began to start again. She cried harder as the pain engulfed her. She couldn't even have the luxury of passing out. Her time was up and she knew it. The pain was so unbearable. She couldn't even look at her brother. With another loud, long wave of vocal anguish, Glory screamed out for the last time.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Scoobies were all assembled in the living room, discussing exactly what must be done to find Buffy. After Faith told them that she had left for JFK, they decided to research what flights went out on that night. Each one would go to a different country and start looking. If anyone found anything, they would call Joyce and she would get the message to everyone else. The Summer's home would become their base of operations.  
  
"Okay, but I definitely call Scot-" Dawn stopped in mid sentence. Her face drained of any color.  
  
"Dawn, you okay there?" Xander asked, more than a little scared.  
  
"Xander...I don't feel so good." Then Dawn passed out.   
  
"Dawn! Is she breathing!" Willow yelled  
  
Oz leaned over and pressed his fingers to her neck. His shoulders slumped considerably.  
  
It was all everyone needed to know the answer.  
  
  
  
End part 10  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Life Lessons

The characters of BtVS and Angel do not belong to me. I just kill them for sport.   
  
A/N: Rachel, I am not going to kill ALL the characters off...give me some credit!   
This is the last part, I hope you all enjoy it...   
  
Life Lessons Final chapter  
  
  
  
  
Everyone was shocked as they looked down at the lifeless body of Dawn. Finally, Willow walked over to stand behind Oz.   
  
"Oz...She can't be-"   
  
That was all Willow could say before the explosion. That was the only word that anyone could use to describe it. A blinding white light burst forth from Dawn's body, with a force that sent everyone flying.   
  
Dazed, they slowly sat up. Xander got up first and he looked around. He shook his head, and looked around again. "Uh, guys? Where's Dawn?"  
  
Slowly, the other members of the group stood up. They looked to the place on the floor where Dawn had been, then started looking around the living room. There was no sign of her.  
  
  
  
Spike was in his crypt, waiting for the sun to go down so he could start going after Buffy. Suddenly, he grabbed his head and cried out in pain. He felt like his head was about to explode. His body began to ache all over and he slowly curled up in a ball, the pain to intense for him to bear. The pain slowly began to subside. Spike slowly lifted his head, as tears began to form in his eyes. He felt different. He didn't know how to explain it. A heart-wrenching sob escaped his throat, and he put his head back down as bloody tears poured forth from his eyes.  
  
  
  
In LA, Angel was experiencing the same thing, minus the headache. His body felt like it was on fire. He called out for Cordelia. She came to his room and looked down at him huddled on the floor. She rushed to his side and lowly lifted his head up and rested it in her lap. "Angel! What's wrong? Angel say something!"  
  
Slowly he sat up. His body still shaking from the pain that he somehow managed to withstand. He looked up at her, tears streaking his face. "What the hell just happened to you?!" Cordelia asked, still freaked out. Angel shook his head, because he had no idea. He just felt like something inside him changed.  
  
  
  
Buffy was sitting in her seat, waiting for her flight to land. She suddenly gripped the armrests. Her knuckles turned white and she felt her heart stop. She couldn't take in any breath. She began to suffocate. With terrified eyes she looked at the old woman sitting next to her. She tried to ask for help, but nothing came out. Her chest was expanded to its limit, and she felt a blackness begin to take over her.  
  
Then it was over. Air was sucked into her starved lungs and she began to breathe heavily. She sat back in her seat, her hands relaxed. She looked deep within herself for an explanation of what had just happened. She didn't have to think that long about it. She knew. The Key abandoned its human form. Dawn was gone.  
  
  
  
Joyce did not feel anything as extraordinary as the others did. She felt something deep within her soul. She sighed. The gypsy had been right. Everything the mysterious woman had said would happen, some twenty-five years ago, had happened. Both of her girls where gone now. She knew it and she accepted it. She knew it was time to move on. Joyce, looking older than her years, began to plan for her future. A future she would have to live without her beautiful, precious, and special girls.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Willow sat in her dorm room. A book of spells sat in front of her, unread. She didn't need the spell book. Somehow, she knew what everyone of them said. She tested herself by thinking of a situation, and the type of spell that she would need, and without looking in the book, she knew what it was. She even knew what ingredients she would need from it. She sat silently stunned, until someone came into her room that stunned her even more.  
  
"Hey Red, what ya readin'?"  
  
Spike stood in her doorway, uninvited and in the stream of sunlight that came through her window. "Are you human?"  
  
"Nah, still don't have a heart beat, still lust for blood, and still see rather well in the dark. Oh, and I think the chip is gone."  
  
The last statement had Willow lunging far away from him, and holding up a cross. Her eyes were wide and terrified.  
  
"Easy there, Red" Spike went over and plucked the cross out of her hands. "Just doesn't have quite the same effect." Willow was even more petrified now. "Will you please get that bloody look off your face. It isn't becoming on you at all. I guess I should have mentioned first that I have no desire to kill you. Or anyone else for that matter. I think I have a bloody soul". Willow looked him in the eyes, her body relaxed immediately. "I think we need to have a Scooby meeting"....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The gang sat around, each one telling what new feelings or powers they possessed now. Oz, no longer felt the wolf inside of him, but Xander and Anya admitted that they hadn't felt anything different since the accident.   
  
Spike took the floor. "The reason that I had gone to see Willow, was to check if she had heard from Faith. I haven't talked to her since yesterday. She had a date last night, and this was the first chance I had to get to see her."  
  
"What do you want with Faith?" Xander asked  
  
"Yeah, wasn't she going to go back to prison?" Anya asked  
  
"No, she said that since Buffy went AWOL, she was going to stick around and patrol." Willow told the group. "But why do you want to see her?"  
  
"She has...information that I might find useful". He still didn't want to bring up Buffy and her whereabouts.   
  
Everyone was saying that they hadn't heard from her, when Xander's face went white. "Oh God! She's hurt. It's really bad! Come on guys, she's in her motel room." The group instantly rushed out and made it in record time to the SunnyHello motel in which Faith was currently staying.  
  
Spike burst through the door, to see Faith naked and curled up against a wall. She was shaking and covered in blood. There was a man that was lying on the bed. It was the Council guy. He was obviously the source of most of the blood flow. After taking in the site, Xander immediately knelt down next to Faith and reached for her. She lashed out at him, her eyes looked crazy. "Faith, Faith, shh, it's okay." Xander held her tighter as he said comforting words in her ears. Faith slowly began to give up her fight. She leaned into Xander as sobs racked through her body.  
  
"He was going to kill me" Faith got out between sobs. "He said he loved me. I believed him. He was just trying to get close to me." She finished as she continued to cry. Spike pulled the comforter off the floor where it had been thrown, and wrapped it around her body. Xander then lifted her up, and carried her out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
A few days later, Faith sat on Buffy's old bed in the dorm room, talking to Willow. She was still shaken about what had happened to her, but she had dealt with worse, and she would deal with this. The only difference was, she had help now. Willow made her talk about it, and it made Faith feel better to know that Willow wasn't indifferent as to what happened. It was quite the opposite in fact. Willow was enraged. Faith never had anyone so upset on her behalf. It was really...disturbing. But it made her feel something that she hadn't felt in a long time.   
  
"Do you think you loved him? I mean, I know you didn't know him for very long, but wasn't just a little tiny part of you in love with him?" Willow asked.  
  
Faith thought about the question carefully. "If I were somebody else, and the things in my life never happened to me, I probably would think yes. But too many people have-I loved his attention. I loved the thought that he might love me. I just don't think I'm capable of loving someone."  
  
"Yes you are. And you want to very badly. You just haven't found the right person."  
  
"All I'm saying, is that I've been with men and I've been with women. I was never looking for a gender or a particular type to niche myself into. I just was looking everywhere for that one person. I don't think it exists. Maybe love doesn't find me worthy enough to bestow itself upon."  
  
"That's just crazy talk. You are really special. Think of all the ways you've changed. And it wasn't because you had to. It's because you knew it was the right thing. That's really cool in my book." Willow put her arm around Faith and smiled at her.  
  
"Well," Faith said, putting her arm around Willow "God forbid if the Willow book ever writes me out." She smiled back at Willow. They looked at each other for a minute. Their smiles slowly faded away as they saw something in each other's eyes...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Xander, how did you know that Faith was in trouble?" Anya asked  
  
"I don't know. Spike mentioned her, and in my Xander brain I said 'If I were Faith, where would I be?' Cause it usually works when I can't find my keys or my shoes. Anyway, instead of thinking a smoky club with whips and chains, like I normally associate Faith with, I saw her in her motel room. It's been happening a lot since we found Faith. If I concentrate on something, I can see it. Weird, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. That is really weird Xander. Don't do it any more."  
  
"It isn't something that I can control, Anya. It just happens."  
  
"Well, stop. End of story. I've got to go to work. See you, love biscuit. We'll have sex when I get home."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I know" Anya said happily, kissed Xander on the forehead, and walked out of their apartment.   
  
Xander let out a long sigh. He spread out on the couch, ready to take a nap. For some reason, he wondered how Cordy was doing. There was a flash in his mind, but it only lasted for a second. Xander shook his head. Two things about that vision told him it wasn't possible. The first was that Angel and Cordy were on the beach together, in the sunlight no less. The second was that Cordy had told Angel that she used to be in love with Xander, and was still in love with him.   
  
"Snap out of it, Xand" he told himself "It's just wishful thinking." Xander sat up straight on the couch. 'Wishful thinking'? Where did that come from? An uneasy feeling came over him. He needed to see Anya. He told himself repeatedly on the way to the Magic Box that he just wanted to see her, not to remind him of who he was with.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"This is great. I've missed this. It's perfect."  
  
"Except you're getting your feet wet in the tide with me, rather than with Buffy."  
  
Angel and Cordelia were standing by the shore at the beach. It was his first day out in the sun, since the day that never happened.  
  
"She left. Leave it alone. If she wants me she knows where to find me."  
  
Cordelia bit her tongue. She and Angel had gotten in one too many fights since she found out that he hadn't gone after Buffy. She wasn't about to tell them that Spike had. But she supposed their fights were a little beneficial. Their last fight had pushed Cordelia over the edge. In her frustration, she pushed Angel. Angel, in turn, tripped over the coffee table and fell into the sunlight that came through the front doors. He was looking up angrily at Cordy, when her eyes tripled in size. He then he noticed that he sat in the sun. It was the first of many anti-vampire elements that no longer effected him.  
  
"You should really go after her now. I was waiting for you to tell me yourself, but since it's obvious that you won't...I found the note that Giles left you. It said that the curse Willow recited that restored your soul was sans loophole. That means that you can well...you can...you're a big boy, you can figure it out. Is it true?"  
  
Angel gave her a side look. "Don't know. Really haven't had the opportunity."  
  
"Oh. Why would Giles wait so long to tell you that, though? Why would he tell you in his will?"  
  
"I guess to give Buffy time to get over me."  
  
"Well, look at you now! You can go to church with her, the beach, and all that normal stuff. Just what you always wanted for her. What I want to know, is why you are here with me, instead of with her."  
  
"Why are you here with me?"  
  
"Don't answer a question with a question. It's rude!"  
  
"Answer.  
  
"Where else would I be? Besides, I like being with you. You're good company...sometimes."  
  
"Why aren't you with Xander?"  
  
Cordelia was going to say something flippant, but she had to get it out to someone. "He's with Anya now. He's happy."  
  
"And Buffy will be happy, too. She'll find the right MAN. Not vampire."  
  
"But she isn't happy right now! Do you think that I would have left with you if Xander had been unhappy? NO! Sure, Xander broke whatever heart I had at that time in my life, and he's the reason I took off for LA, but I still love him. Neither one of us handled 'the kiss' very well. It's still his fault, though. But he's happy now. A day late and a dollar short. And you'll be singing a duet with me if you don't go after her!"   
  
"No." He said in a way that made Cordelia back off immediately. "Why are you so adamant about Buffy and I together? I don't get it."  
  
"No, you wouldn't. Don't give me the puppy dog eyes, Angel. You really wouldn't understand anyway."  
  
"Try me" He said softly, taking hold of her hand.  
  
"If someone had intervened with me and Xander, we might be together now. And if someone had intervened with Doyle and me we could have been together before he died. I just want to do for you what nobody did for me."  
  
"I understand." Cordelia smiled up at him. She new he wouldn't do anything about Buffy, yet, but at least he knew where she was coming from. They walked back to his car, hand in hand.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey. Have you seen Willow?" Oz asked Anya when he came to the Magic Box  
  
"Oh, hey Oz. She was here, but she and Faith took off. They're doing that a lot lately. They said something about rejuvenating the spirit. Took a couple of ingredients for a spell though. And she didn't pay for them. Again. She's always taking stuff from here and she never pays for it. That might have worked with Gi- forget it. Forget I said anything." Anya started rearranging stuff on the self, then putting it back in its original place. She stopped and turned back to Oz. "It isn't the same without him here, you know.   
  
"I know. Seems like a lot of things are different."   
  
"He isn't behind the counter drinking tea, or sitting at that table reading a book, or telling me to be nice to customers-"  
  
A woman walked up to the counter. "Excuse me ma'am, but can you tell me where I can find-"  
  
"Hey! Can't you see that I'm in the middle of a conversation? Look harder, if you can't find it, then we don't have it! Okay?" She turns back to Oz "Where was I?"  
  
"Customer Service"  
  
"Right"  
  
"But I get what you're saying."  
  
"Doubtful. You're not the one in a place with so many reminders of someone that was always there. You don't know what it's like to know that nothing will ever be the same again. Whether it's for the best or worst, the one person that you just...expected to be around, isn't."  
  
"I think I might have a good idea how that feels."  
  
"Oh. Yeah, you and Willow. I forgot about that, you know, her being a lesbian and all."  
  
"Right. Maybe I should go."  
  
"Did I offend you? I didn't say something rude, did I? Xander's always telling me about tact. I thought that was an adhesive or something."  
  
"You're fine. It's just a little hard right now."  
  
"You must have really loved her."  
  
"About as much as you love Xander."  
  
"Oh. Then what's the problem? Get over it!"  
  
Oz just gave her a weird look  
  
"What? I was a vengeance demon for over a thousand years. It's going to take a little more than a year for me to be able to love a man."  
  
"But you said that you loved me."  
  
Xander had overheard most of their conversation, but he couldn't believe what she had just said.  
  
"Xander! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came by to see you. What do you mean you don't love me. You told me you loved me."  
  
"Well, yeah, but that's because you said it to me."  
  
"You mean you told me that you loved me because I told you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Xander looked at her for a second "Oh God...I've got to get out of here."  
  
Xander's construction job had been going so well that he finally had enough money to buy a used car. He now jumped in his '86 Honda and took off. He didn't know where he was going, just that he had to get out of this town.  
  
Then he had an epiphany. He just hoped she would be there.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy checked into a motel room, in a part of New York that you didn't see in the brochures. The room smelled bad. Really, really, really bad. She mentally shrugged her shoulders as she went into the bathroom to clean up. One look at the floor made her realize that she wasn't even going to step a foot in there fully clothed, much less naked. Her body physically shivered in disgust.  
  
"Should I announce my presence or wait till you strip down?"  
  
Buffy's body went tense. There was no way that he could have followed her here. There is no way he could have known where she had gone. She only told Faith- oh. HaHa, Faith, 'I won't tell a soul'. Very funny. Not at all.  
  
Buffy turned around and met the eyes of the peroxide vamp. "What are you doing here, Spike?"  
  
"Just wanted to visit the Big Apple. You know my first choice was Harmony. But get this: there is no Harmony in Maine! I think those people at Passions made up a town!"  
  
"Imagine that." Buffy said, a hint of a smile playing about her lips. "But really, Spike. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well I thought if the big Poof wasn't going to come and get you, I might as well give it a shot."  
  
Buffy's face fell. "He isn't coming? Don't know why that surprises me. It shouldn't. I'm a pro at this aspect of our relationship. Well, you're here aren't you? That's something. At least I'm not a complete loser. How long are you staying for?"  
  
Spike noticed that her eyes had lost their light. She looked terribly alone. Her tone was both hopeful and desolate at the same time. Hopeful because someone was with her, and desolate because she knew he would eventually leave. He wanted to ring Angel's neck. No, he thought, he wanted to stake him.  
  
"Believe it or not, Slayer, but I'm here for the long haul. Think you can stand a few years of me?"  
  
There was a spark in Buffy's eyes "I have so far, haven't I?"  
  
Across the filthy motel room, they held each other's gaze. It was an agreement that they both felt good about. That they both needed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There it was again, Angel thought bitterly. Someone was banging on the front door, and nobody had answered it yet.  
  
"Cordelia! Can you get the door? Cordelia! Forget it, I'll get it myself!"  
  
Angel stomped down the flight of stairs from his bedroom to answer the door. He opened the door to a very confused looking Xander.  
  
"Hey Dead boy. Listen, I really don't know what I'm doing here. It seemed like a good idea about three and half-hours ago. I should go." Xander turned to leave.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
There it was. That voice that he had wanted to hear ever since she and Angel went back to LA. He turned to face her. God she was beautiful.  
  
"Cordelia. I -"  
  
He didn't get anything else out, because Cordelia practically flew across the hotel lobby and into Xander's arms. "I miss you too" he said, only half joking.  
  
"Shut up, Xander." Cordelia's voice was muffled by Xander's chest  
  
"Shutting up." He replied, burying his face in her hair  
  
"I'll just leave you two alone." Angel said, but the two people temporarily glued at every inch, didn't hear.   
  
Angel smiled sadly and walked out of the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The End  
  
  
Well, that's the end of that. I plan on doing a follow up that takes place a couple of years later. Hope you enjoyed this. And if you're a big B/A fan, you probably didn't like that ending. But fear not, there is a method in my madness...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
